


The Storm

by JudyOct98



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 01:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20381680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudyOct98/pseuds/JudyOct98
Summary: Kathryn nurses Chakotay back to health after a painful separation. He’s not so forgiving...





	The Storm

Rating: PG-13/NC-17

The Storm  
By J.A. Greene

Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable. We cannot know at the outset how the relationships will affect us.

\- Rollo May

Two Years Later After Voyager's Return

Kathryn walked tiredly along the street to her small house after duty carrying her briefcase. The salty air from the bay blew around her and she stopped for a moment to inhale the air that always seemed to revive her senses.

After a moment, she felt slightly invigorated and continued down the sidewalk to the small white two-story cape with a wraparound porch and bright yellow trim. As she stepped up onto the porch, she saw the large front door slightly ajar and smiled softly knowing who was inside.

She walked up to it and pushed it open walking inside, “hello?” She called as she gazed around the living room and over into the kitchen where she heard some scuffling of four paws. She then made a clucking sound with her tongue and a bark was heard, then suddenly a large golden retriever charged out of the kitchen to her barking happily. She smiled happily at her dog, Molly, as she put down her briefcase in time to get a hug from Molly as she stood up on her back legs and front paws over her shoulders licking her face. “Why hello there, mistress,” she laughed, tenderly patting Molly’s head and giving a gentle scratch behind her ears. “Have you behaved yourself today?”

“Only until she saw a duck,” said a voice, “by the pond.”

Kathryn glanced up at her former fiancee, but close friend Mark, as he joined them in the living room. “A duck?”

Mark nodded with a smirk, “yep. She was lying beside the baby when suddenly this duck appeared on the edge. The next thing I knew, she had charged for the duck and ended up in the pond.”

She laughed, “oh my! Did the duck escape?”

“Of course,” he replied.

Kathryn felt her soft coat, “she doesn’t smell like a pond.”

“Katie,” he said, “do you honestly think I was going to let her smell like that? I had to give her a bath.”

“Oh Mark,” she sighed, “thanks, but I could have done it.”

“After a long day,” he claimed, “at HQ? Never.” She smiled softly, “besides, Pat insisted.” 

“Then I owe her my thanks,” she replied and let Molly back down on all fours, he headed to the front door.

He nodded, “I know.” He stood by the door gazing at his beautiful friend before him. “I made you a pot of tea and B’Elanna called.”

Kathryn raised her eyebrow, “B’Elanna? Did she say what she wanted?” 

“No,” he replied, “but it sounded important.”

She was curious as to why her former engineer would be calling. After Voyager came home, the crew kept in contact for several months, until Kathryn started getting involved with her work at HQ and she slowly lost regular contact with everyone. But, then again, she really hadn’t tried as it started to happen. The excitement of finally coming home had worn off to a sadness she never thought to feel. 

Her family was gone and she and Chakotay . . . 

She sighed gazing at Mark, “okay, I’ll give her a call. Thanks.” 

Mark studied her for a moment, noticing the sadness in her eyes when her crew was mentioned. He stepped closer to her, “are you okay?” he asked gently.

Kathryn stared at him, “I’m fine. Why?” 

He shrugged, “you just - ” and stopped with a sigh. “Never mind,” he finally said and reached over pulling her into a warm embrace. He whispered in her ear, “I’m here if you ever want to talk.” 

Kathryn glanced up at him, “thanks, but I’m fine.” He stared at her, she smirked, “Mark -” 

He pulled away, “okay, I’m going. I’ll see you tomorrow,” and he left.

Kathryn stood there in thought for a moment as she realized he was aware of her depression, but knew she’d ask for help if she wanted it. She was brought back to reality with the feel of Molly’s tail brushing against her leg. 

“Come on, girl,” she said gently, “let me get some tea.” They walked into the kitchen and she went over to a cabinet opening it and took out her white tea cup she had on Voyager. She then stepped over to the teapot on the stove and poured herself a cup.

As she leaned against the counter sipping the soothing liquid she had adapted over coffee after coming home - although she did have the occasional cup, she began to wonder why B’Elanna called and knew she’d have to call her back.

She knew, if it weren’t for Mark or her work at HQ, she’d become almost a recluse. Deciding to finally do it, she opened some food for Molly and then headed out of the kitchen to her small office off the living room to place the call.

=/\=

Once seated at her desk, she activated the computer and with a deep breath placed the call to the Paris household in Oakland, where both Tom, B’Elanna and Miral were now living.

The moment B’Elanna appeared, Kathryn fought to keep her apprehension down. She wondered why she was nervous over this, despite the lack of communication between them. “Captain,” B’Elanna said simply, “thanks for calling me back.” 

Kathryn nodded, “sure. How is everyone?”

“Oh, just great,” she replied. “Tom should be home soon and Miral is at her playgroup right now.” Kathryn smiled, “how are you?”

“Just the same,” she said, with a sigh. They were quiet for a moment, then, “what can I do for you, B’Elanna?” 

B’Elanna’s face fell as she stared at her former commanding officer. She sighed, “I don’t know how to tell you this - ” and Kathryn felt her back stiffen knowing something she wasn’t prepared for was going to happen. “They found him,” and suddenly she felt her heart skip a beat and a lump form in her throat.

Kathryn had to force herself to swallow so she could speak. “What?” she said, slightly strangled. She then swallowed with some difficulty, “when?” 

“Two days ago,” B’Elanna replied, Kathryn nodded. “He’s on a hospital ship heading to DS9. I thought you’d want to know.”

Kathryn wasn’t sure if she were happy or sad that Chakotay had been found alive. Their parting when Voyager returned home wasn’t happy. They both fought over her career with Starfleet and him wanting her to join him on a dig he was invited to join. His relationship was short lived with Seven, when he went to tell her finally about the relationship and she confronted him before he could.

Her heart and mind racing with wanting a chance to show she actually did love him, she had kissed him in part desperation and passion. He had responded with the same reverence and before she could stop it or want to, they were making passionate love against a wall in her quarters. She had come screaming his name in the pleasure and he told her he loved her. In her state, he had cradled her in his arms carrying her to bed and before she could completely recover, he told her he loved her again and made tender love to her.

Afterwards, they lay curled in each other’s arms and she told him she loved him as well. 

The next few days as the ship traveled at impulse back to Earth, while being escorted by the Enterprise, was spent in absolute bliss between the debriefings and parties. 

By the time they had landed at Starfleet HQ, the crew were ready to depart and say their own goodbyes, both private and social. Once most of the crew had left, both of them said their own goodbye to Voyager by touring her together one more time among the empty corridor’s and rooms.

When they returned to her quarters among her packed belonging’s, as they were beginning to make love, he then asked her what she wasn’t expecting . . .

...She placed her hands against his shoulders pulling away looking at him. “What did you say?” she asked gasping from the passion. 

Chakotay gazed deeply into her eyes, “I just asked you to come on the dig with me - ” she blinked, still absorbing his offer.

“That means to leave Starfleet,” she said. He stared at her, “Chakotay - I - ”

“- What?” he asked, the mood now broken between them. “Haven’t you had enough of doing what they ask? I thought after this week you would have decided - ”

Kathryn pushed him angrily off her and pulled her sheet around her naked torso. “To just leave everything I’ve worked for?” He then sat up on the edge of the bed rubbing his face. “How could you ask me that?”

He turned to her, “because I love you dammit! I want just you alone, not sharing you with Starfleet.”

“You can - ”

Chakotay stood up, “no, Kathryn, no. I know you, remember? First you might get promoted, then you’ll settle into the position, then it’ll be meetings and parties, more meetings -”

“- Chakotay - ” she said, he shook his head. Her heart thudded in her chest as it grew tighter with what he was asking. “Please, don’t ask me to choose -”

“Kathryn -!” he snapped. “I want just you -”

“I can’t!” she replied angrily, tears were burning her eyes. “Don’t - ask me -” He then began to get dressed. She then stood beside the bed with the sheet wrapped around her. She stepped over to him, “Chakotay, I’ll make time for you, do you honestly think that now after the time we’ve spent, I’d ignore that?”

He stopped gazing at her, “I wouldn’t think so, but once you get used to your new job -” he felt a stinging slap against the side of his face as she lashed angrily out at him.

“How dare you!” she snapped. “How dare you suggest I’m selfish like that! If you know me so well, you know I’ve sacrificed everything to get this crew home!”

His face fell as he saw the shattered look on her face and the anger in her eyes. “Kathryn, I didn’t mean - ” he said softly.

“ - Get out!” she cried, her chest heaving. “Get out! Damn you! I finally give myself to you and - ” she put her hand to her mouth to stem the tears.

“Kathryn - ” he said, wanting her to accept his apology. He didn’t want it to end, he realized he’d made a terrible mistake. She was so upset at the moment, he went to hold her and she pulled away from him. “I’m sorry - ”

She shook her head, her eyes bright with tears, “go away Chakotay. Just - go! Please - oh, god,” she sat on her bed turning away from him, wrapped in the sheet, her shoulders shaking and hair surrounding her.

He stood there as she cried silently into her hands. He realized their brief and passionate affair was over, due to his mistake. He then sighed and reached out gently stroking a lock of her hair, then turned and walked out of her cabin and life.

Kathryn sat in the silence of her cabin and once she heard her doors close, she burst into tears lying on her bed. Her heart broke so deeply.

Two days later, she left Voyager with a depression and went home to her mother’s to rest and met up with Mark who consoled her over Chakotay . . .

Kathryn blinked at the memory, she nodded, “thanks, B’Elanna.” She sighed, “where was he?”

“In a Cardassian labor camp,” she replied.

Chakotay’s group was at a dig along the Cardassian border when it was raided and all the scientists captured or killed. His body wasn’t found at the site and when Starfleet attempted to find him in those first eight months, they had no luck.

Then with each passing month after that, the chance of finding him or any other survivors was growing dim. 

Kathryn ached throughout those months waiting on word of his whereabouts, then she grew numb knowing he was still alive . . . somewhere.

“Oh god,” she whispered in shock, knowing if the Cardassian’s found out if Chakotay was a former Maquis, it would be tough for him. She forced herself to swallow, “how bad is he?”

“He’s not good,” B’Elanna said, “but, their treating him. He was beaten quite a bit, severe malnutrition.” 

“Who found him?” 

“Some Bajoran militants,” she replied. “They stormed the labor camp looking for some missing Bajoran’s since the Occupation. When they saw he was human, they took him with them.” 

Kathryn took a moment to absorb the information, then she sighed, “are you going to meet the ship when it docks?”

B’Elanna stared at her, “well, I could, but - ” she paused. “To be perfectly honest with you Captain, I think you should do it.” Before Kathryn could reply, she continued, “I know both of you didn’t part happily. Before Chakotay left, he was so upset over what happened.”

“How much do you know?” Kathryn asked tightly.

“Enough that he really loves you,” she replied, “and that he said something in the heat of the moment he regrets.” Kathryn felt her eyes sting with tears, and she forcibly blinked them back. Then she sighed, “he’d be more happy to see you than me. He needs you - ”

“ - I don’t know, B’Elanna,” Kathryn sighed, “I don’t know.”

“Think about it,” she said, “please. What happened is old right now, it has to be you. This might be the best time to clear everything up.”

Kathryn bit her lip knowing B’Elanna was right, but what if he didn’t want to fix things? She knew she was wrong in ending the affair on a misunderstanding, but his words hurt so much and he was angry that she wouldn’t leave Starfleet for him.

She was worried that their separation had caused him to hate her. She still loved him, but wasn’t sure if that even mattered anymore.

“When does the ship dock?” she asked, finally.

“Next week,” she replied, “their coming from deep inside Cardassia with an escort.”

“Let me think about it,” Kathryn said. “Goodnight, B’Elanna,” and cut the transmission. She sat in thought over this and groaned at this request. Was this the right thing to do? She didn’t know and she realized a bath might help her focus on this and come to a decision.

=/\=

Later on, after a light dinner that consisted of pasta with vegetables, Kathryn lay submersed up to her neck in her white antique tub in a bubble bath and surrounded by candles and holding a glass of wine. Molly lay beside the tub on the soft pink fluffy mat with her eyes closed and snoring softly while she waited for her mistress to have her bath.

As Kathryn sipped the wine, she began to remember their passion and how good it was while it lasted. He had been so gentle with her in the passion. Seven years of blocked feelings had made them hungry for each other and once they made love that first time, keeping their hands off each other was a hard thing to do when the crew was around and hoping nobody was within earshot.

She remembered the quickie in the turbo-lift on the way to that party while wearing that red dress - then again, it didn’t help much that she wasn’t wearing any panties - and then in the corridor connecting her ready room to deck two, thank god that had a security lock. She had come so hard she bit into his neck through his uniform leaving a slight mark, but oh yes, it had been very good between them.

As she remembered, she found herself missing him terribly again.

And then their final night together in his quarters before the ship landed back on Earth. She was so happy at that point, figuring nothing could have separated them with all they’d been through together.

It had first been tender, nearly bringing her to tears, then with a passion so intense, she clung to him in the aftermath as the orgasm quaked through to her toes, literally. She never realized how much love they had between them until then and the sex would be so incredible.

Despite the wine and the memories, she couldn’t help the hunger of him again. She tried to throw it away because she was sure he wouldn’t care to see her anymore.

“I miss you,” she whispered softly and closed her eyes. “How could I be so stupid?” she stomped her foot against the tub bottom. The noise was loud enough to wake Molly, as she raised her head with a start. But, even with what she was feeling, she still couldn’t decide if she should meet his hospital ship.

Suddenly realizing the water was getting cold, she finished her wine and slowly stood up. Molly did as well letting her out as she wrapped her robe around her and walked over to her dressing table to let down her hair and brush it out.

Once done, she removed the robe and pulled on her nightgown, blew out all the candles and pulled the drain on the tub. Then with her empty wine glass, she walked out with Molly behind her to the kitchen and put the glass in the sink, then walked back into her bedroom over to the large mahogany sleigh bed and pulled the covers down slipping inside.

As she settled down, Molly joined her at the foot of the bed. She couldn’t move her foot and lifted her head, “Molly - move!” The dog stood up and lay back down on the other side. She muttered, “nothing like sharing your bed with a dog,” and closed her eyes falling asleep.

Two days later, Kathryn sat at her desk in her office still trying to decide whether or not to meet up with the hospital ship. As she thought, she stared at the picture of her senior staff on her desk and Chakotay’s face as he stood behind Tom. When the picture was taken, they wanted to stand together, but given their affair, it would have been too obvious of their involvement.

She still wasn’t sure if she should. 

With a groan, she took the picture and lay it face down on the desk and went back to work.

=/\=

That next evening, she sat talking with Mark over her apprehension. He sat watching her pace in the living room as she tried to talk herself out of not going.

“Katie,” he said gently, “would it hurt you too much to see him again?”

“I don’t know,” she said, she clenched a hand over her chest. She groaned, “my heart still aches for him Mark.” She trembled, “but, I suddenly miss him so much.” She looked at him, “we were so close, you know?” He nodded, “tell me what I should do.”

Mark stared at her, then stood up, “I can’t do that.” She quirked an eyebrow at him, he walked over to her placing his hands on her shoulders gently. “Katie, I love you. I’ve always loved you, but you know it’s not romantic love. What you have or had with Chakotay was, for six of those seven years.” He reached up stroking her face, “listen to your heart Katie, for just this once. It knows the answer.”

“Oh, Mark - ” she whispered, her eyes growing moist. “I -” 

“Don’t be afraid,” he said, tenderly. “Everything will be okay.”

Kathryn’s throat was tight with his touching words and they made sense to her. Like Chakotay, he always knew what she was thinking and her fears. Then, she wrapped her arms tightly around him, “I will Mark, thank you.”

“I’m happy I could help,” he said softly and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

The next day, while Kathryn was home for the weekend and after cleaning house, she played catch with Molly in the small backyard. Despite trying to keep busy and her thoughts on the game with Molly, her thoughts drifted back to her talk with Mark.

Suddenly she heard the small beeper attached to her belt chirp letting her know a call was coming in. The beeper was an essential part of her life so she wouldn’t miss a call.

“Come on, girl,” she said to Molly and turned stepping up into the house and ran down into her office and sat down at her terminal activating it. B’Elanna’s face appeared, this time she wasn’t surprised. “B’Elanna.”

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” B’Elanna asked her, noticing Kathryn’s deshelved hair and sweaty face.

Kathryn pushed a lock of hair out of her face with a shake, “no, I was just outside playing with the dog.”

She nodded and they were quiet, then said, “are you going?”

Kathryn sighed biting her lip, she leaned back in her chair, “you know what? I haven’t been able to decide, until a friend said some very interesting things to me last night.” She paused, “I miss him B’Elanna, more than I thought I did. I’m not sure -”

“He loves you,” B’Elanna said firmly. “He was heartbroken when it ended. Give it a chance.”

After several moments, she nodded, but still unsure. “Okay, after make a few arrangements, I’ll take the next transport to DS9.”

“Good,” said B’Elanna with a nod. “Everything will be okay, you’ll see.”

Kathryn nodded saying under her breath, “I hope so.”

The next afternoon, when both Pat and Mark came to visit, they sat at the dining room table having lunch while the baby slept in Kathryn’s bedroom. Both stared at her due to her lack of communication at the moment. 

Pat, a pretty blonde with deep, hazel eyes, glanced at Mark who shrugged. She sighed, “um - Kate?” 

Kathryn glanced at her, “yes?” 

“Is everything okay?” she asked curiously.

She stared at them, still lost in thought, then nodded, “yes, why?” 

“You’re awfully quiet,” she said. 

Kathryn smirked, then sighed, “all right, something’s been on my mind.” She paused and then looked at Mark, she sighed, “I’ve decided to meet his hospital ship."

“Do you think that a good idea?” Pat asked. “I mean, it’s been almost two years -” 

“ - I know,” Kathryn said softly, and looked at Mark. “But, I have to listen to my heart, despite what my head says.” Then sighed, “and I still have to find out if we have a chance.” 

“What if he still wants you to,” Mark asked, “leave Starfleet?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I’m not in command right now, so leaving a desk job wouldn’t hurt me. When he asked at that time, I wasn’t sure if I’d be commanding again. I’ll just have to wait and see.” 

“When do you leave?” he asked.

“Tomorrow,” she said. “I’ve made some special arrangements for this.” 

“And you want us to babysit the dog?”

Kathryn sighed, “you know I can’t leave her alone -”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, Pat nodded. “How long will you be away?” 

“I’ve taken two months leave,” she replied, “but, I’ll need you to keep Molly for about a week or so. When we get back, I’ll need you to bring her to me.”

“Bring her where?” Pat asked. “Where are you going?” 

“Somewhere therapeutic,” she replied, with a sigh. “And, thanks for taking Molly.”

When Kathryn boarded the transport for the short trip to DS9, she was nervous. Her cabin assigned, was spacious, but unnecessary for this trip, since it was only she at the moment. It had a large platform bed, a small sofa, coffee table and arm chair that sat along a large expanse of windows along the portside. There was also a replicator for use, a small dining table and two chairs and a small desk for personal use.

Once the ship was underway, she stood in the center of the room debating whether or not to get Chakotay his own room. She then reasoned, given the fact that they had been lovers, sharing this cabin on the way home wouldn’t hurt. And, also due to the fact, they’d be cohabitating by themselves on the open sea, he might as well get used to it now.

Except now, she called the quartermaster and reserved the same cabin for the return home and ordered up a comfortable cot for Chakotay to sleep on.

Three days later, the ship docked early morning at DS9. For Kathryn, memories were brought back to when she had first docked Voyager there before their fateful trip into the Badlands and across to the Delta Quadrant

The ship was due to depart late afternoon and she only had a few hours to collect Chakotay from the station infirmary and get him back on board and settled into the cabin before they left.

=/\=

When she stepped through the airlock, she found the station’s chief surgeon, Julian Bashir, waiting for her. As she stepped down, they shook hands warmly, “Captain Janeway, a pleasure it is to finally meet you,” he said with a smile.

“Same here, Dr. Bashir,” she said. “I’ve heard a lot of your work done here.” 

“Well,” he said, somewhat humble, “I only did what thought best.”

“We all did,” she replied softly, as they began walking down the corridor to the nearest turbo-lift. Then she sighed, “I hate to cut this short doctor, but I only have a few hours. How’s Mr. Chakotay doing?”

They entered the lift, “better. The hospital ship he was on tended to him as best they could, but given the broken ribs and leg, they didn’t heal properly. I fixed the damage there, but he’ll be alittle sore for a while. And, he was severely malnourished, so he’s lost a lot of weight as well.”

She digested this information silently, then nodded, “is he conscious?” 

“He just woke up an hour ago,” he replied. “We’re giving him some food now.”

“Is he eating?” 

“Not too much,” he replied. “I think its on account of some emotional conflict.” She didn’t respond, he studied her for a moment as the lift slowed to the deck. “I think it’s good that you’ve come to take him home.”

Kathryn gazed at him, “why do you say that?”

“Well,” he replied, as they began walking out of the lift and down the main promenade toward the infirmary. “From interviews and stories done on your return, it was noted what close friends you were.”

She nodded, also remembering the stories, “yes, we were.”

They turned and headed toward’s the infirmary, she saw its entrance and felt her heart skip a beat at what was due to come. She fought to get control of herself before they entered.

Both were quiet as they entered a moment later, “I’ll see if he’s ready for visitors,” Bashir said. “I’ll be right back.” Kathryn nodded and he walked into the main part of sickbay where the biobeds were located. She stood quietly for a moment and then he returned, “okay, he’s all set. I had a privacy screen erected to give you a few moment

“Thank you,” she said, somewhat choked.

“This way,” he said softly and led her inside and immediately she saw a frosted three-way privacy screen surrounding a biobed.

Kathryn forced herself to keep moving as Bashir led her over to the screen. He stopped beside it, letting her step up beside him. As she did, she let her eyes slowly gaze over to the figure lying on the bed beneath a blanket.

He was so thin! She was alarmed at the pallor of his skin and his hair was longer and he had a beard. She remembered how golden his skin was and how smooth it felt against her. Now he looked decades older.

“I’ll leave you alone,” Bashir said quietly to her and left.

Kathryn still stood rooted to the same spot as she observed her former first officer and lover. He was dozing, but not in a deep sleep and she felt her heart lurch at the joy of seeing him again, but it seemed to twist with the sadness she felt at the cause of their separation.

Finally, after a moment she forced herself to walk over and around to the opposite side of the bed. She stared down at him and felt her love for him return fully as she saw how weak he looked.

“Chakotay,” she whispered, enough for her alone. Her throat was tight as she fought her emotions back. She then reached out tenderly touching his arm saying softly, “Chakotay.”

He drifted quietly as he heard the faint sounds of the infirmary around him. When brought to the station, he had been sedated due to the pain in his chest and leg, because the doctors couldn’t completely fix the breaks. When he woke up the day before, he found a young doctor beside him telling him his injuries had been fixed and he was at DS9.

Grateful he was back in Federation space, he fell back into a deep and peaceful sleep and didn’t wake up till this morning.

Now he was dreaming of Kathryn and their time together before their separation. Suddenly he heard her voice, he reasoned with himself that he must be desperate enough for her, that he was now hearing her. His heart did ache for her still, but when he remembered how she wouldn’t leave Starfleet for him, he just grew angry again.

Suddenly he heard her again as he was pulled out of his slumber and her hand on his arm. He opened his eyes to the bright light and slightly lifted his head letting his eyes focus on the figure before him. He knew her touch and the color of her hair. Once her face came into view, he squinted his eyes in disbelief.

“Ka -” he whispered, harshly. “Ka -”

She nodded alittle with a soft smile, “yes, Chakotay -”

Suddenly he practically sat up, “Ka-th-ryn!”

She reached out placing her hands gently on his shoulders pushing him back down against the bed. “Yes, Chakotay. Please, be careful -”

He was staring at her, still not believing it, “Kath-ryn,” he said, slightly stronger. She nodded again and gently placed her hand against his face. He could feel her warmth and now he could smell her perfume. He wasn’t dreaming and lifted his hand placing it against hers. “What - are you - here?”

Kathryn’s eyes welled with tears, she blinked them back, “I’ve come to take you home.”

“Home?” he asked and shook his head, still slightly fogged. “Voyager?”

That’s when the tears spilled down her face, and she shook her head with a soft smile, “no, Earth Chakotay. We’ve been home for two years.”

Chakotay still stared at her as it all came back to him, his eyes grew moist with tears. She was really here and more beautiful than ever before. “Spirits - Kathryn,” and a tear slid down his face and over her hand. “I thought - I was going to die - there - ”

“Oh - Chakotay -” she whispered tearfully, “I’ve been so - worried about you - ” and he kissed her hand. She lowered her forehead to his still crying softly. He wrapped his arms around her gently as they held each other amongst their tears. After several moments, she regained her composure and lifted her head drying her face. “Are you ready to go home?”

“Yes,” he replied, still gruff from emotion. “Oh, yes - ”

She nodded and pulled away from the bed and stepped out from behind the screen and walked over to Bashir. He turned to her, “doctor, can you please prepare Chakotay for his trip home?”

He nodded with a smile, “yes, ma’me.” He signaled to a nurse and they walked away and over behind the screen.

=/\=

By the time Bashir was sure Chakotay could walk and was strong enough, he gave him some blue hospital scrubs to wear and contacted the surgeon on the transport to monitor Chakotay on his trip back to Earth.

As he was being helped, he glanced over at Kathryn who stood talking to Colonial Kira, who happened to stop by for a moment. Although he was grateful Kathryn had come to take him home, it looked like her dedication to Starfleet hadn’t changed, as she and Kira spoke softly.

Her tears were genuine that she was happy to see him again, but he wasn’t sure if she truly wanted to be there.

Once he was ready, Kathryn walked back over to him with a soft smile and gently took his arm to help support him as they left. He had to walk slow due to his leg and was starting to feel tired again. He hoped she had a bed ready for him, since he was ready to sleep now.

As they left, Kathryn thanked Bashir as she was assisted by one of the nurses while they headed up to the airlock. When they reached the airlock, another nurse from the transport sickbay assisted them up and inside the ship.

Once they reached the cabin, Chakotay was ready to collapse from all the walking. Kathryn could feel his weight against her and she wanted to get him inside quickly.

“Come on,” she said gently, as they entered and she led him over to the cot near the bed. Once there, he sat down heavily exhausted and they swung his legs completely on and she pulled a soft blanket over him and adjusted his pillow. He was almost asleep, she thanked the nurse quietly, who then left. When they were alone, she knelt beside him studying his face. “Chakotay,” she said softly, his eyes fluttered open as he stared at her. “I want you to get better. We’re going to be spending some time together.”

He wondered what she meant by that. He figured she was going to just escort him back to Earth and to a hospital there and leave. It was obvious now she had something different planned.

Since he didn’t respond, she continued, “what I mean is, I’ve rented a boat for a couple of months to use. I need you to get your strength up these next few days because it’ll be difficult for you to move around otherwise.” He still didn’t respond, she wasn’t sure if he was just tired or starting to ignore her. She sighed, “well, just rest. I know you’re tired. If you need anything, let me know.” His eyes closed and she quietly stood up moving away and had that part of the cabin’s lights dimmed.

=/\=

Later that night, as the ship traveled at impulse, Kathryn didn’t wake Chakotay for dinner. Instead, she had a bowl of salad with his favorite dressing, some iced tea and a slice of bread on a tray beside his bed in case he woke up while she was asleep.

He woke up less than an hour after she had fallen asleep and pulled himself into an upright position finding the tray of food. As his eyes adjusted to the low lights, his gaze caught her figure asleep on the bed less than two feet away.

Chakotay then pulled the blanket off him and managed to sit on the edge of the cot staring at Kathryn as she slept. He noticed her hair had grown longer, as it lay in a tumble over her shoulder as she slept on her side. Her skin still had that beautiful ivory glow, as the starlight illuminated off one of her exposed shoulders in her sleeveless nightgown. He felt his heart ache with the love he still had for her as he remembered how her pale skin matched against his own bronzed.

He was tempted to reach out and touch her because she was such a vision to him at the moment. He decided not to and wondered why she wanted to live on the ocean with him for two months.

That news surprised him, since their breakup, they hadn’t seen or spoken to each other until today. Maybe she had changed about Starfleet. The Kathryn Janeway he knew back then wouldn’t have taken so much time off from duty, but she did and to nurse him back to health.

He felt his stomach grumble and decided to eat. So, he turned back to the food and as he prepared the salad, he found his favorite dressing. He smiled at her memory and began to eat.

Once he was done, he attempted to stand and walk around their cabin. He managed to walk a few feet before his legs grew weak and sat in the nearby chair.

As he sat there, he heard her stir softly in her sleep and roll over onto her back. Her blanket pulled away from her slightly, exposing the scooped front and he suddenly wanted her.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, in awe. “So damn beautiful,” he put his face in his hands forcing his hunger for her down. They weren’t lovers anymore, but he was just remembering her beautiful legs wrapped around him as they made love one time back on Voyager. She loved the sex as much as he did and they loved each other. That’s why it was always so incredible between them.

After a few moments, he felt under control and started to feel sleepy again. With some effort, he pushed himself back to his feet and then walked back over to the cot laying back down. He pulled the blanket over him and fell back to sleep.

The next morning when Kathryn woke up early, she found Chakotay sleeping deeply, but looking better. His color wasn’t so sallow anymore, as some of his color had returned. She slowly stood up and pulled on her robe, then brushed her hair out of her face. As she did, her eye caught the empty salad bowl and glass. She smiled softly gazing down at him, then walked around the cot and picked up the tray. She returned it to the replicator and walked into the bathroom to take a shower.

When she was finished, she came out dressed in an ivory pantsuit that had a pullover top and belt. The trip had two full days left and since she was a passenger, she brought some civilian clothes with her. She also brought some for Chakotay, thinking he’d eventually want to change into something familiar than what was issued to him.

He was still asleep, so she took the book she’d brought with her, got a hot cup of coffee and sat down in the armchair putting her feet up on the provided stool and opened it beginning to read.

=/\=

Shortly later, Chakotay stirred opening his eyes and yawned with a slight stretch. After, he began to look for Kathryn when he saw the bed empty, but still unmade. He then glanced around the room and found her sitting in the chair reading quietly.

He stared at her for a second realizing he felt alittle better. He then turned on his side and sighed. She heard him and lowered her book glancing over at him. She smiled gently at him, “good morning. Hungry?”

Chakotay still stared at her, then nodded slightly.

Kathryn sighed, longing to hear his voice, but he still wasn’t talking. She put the book down and slowly stood up. “How do eggs and toast sound?” She glanced at him to see him nod and walked over to the replicator. “In that dresser next to the bed in the second drawer is a change of clothes for the next couple of days. Also, a shaving kit and a bathrobe.” She turned back to him with the food on a tray with some orange juice and coffee. “Can you walk?” She decided she wasn’t going to let him get too lax. Then he shrugged, and she put the tray on the small dining table nearby. She walked over to him and held out her hand to him, “let me help you.”

Chakotay stared up at her, then grasped her hand and she pulled as he slowly pushed himself to his feet. She helped steady him as he stood there and then started to walk with her help. He felt stronger and made her let go just before the table. She pulled out the chair and let him sit down.

“Let me know if you need anything,” she told him and moved away back to the armchair.

Chakotay ate in silence and sipped at his coffee and orange juice. He wanted to talk with her, but their wall of silence he was creating wasn’t easy. He knew she was starting to get frustrated with it, but he had no choice right now. His anger was deep and he just couldn’t do it. He knew when the time would be to talk to her, but he just wasn’t sure when it’d happen.

When he was finished, he wanted to take a shower and use the bathroom. So, he pushed back his chair and feeling alittle stronger, pushed himself to his feet. She heard him and glanced over noticing. She then put down her book standing, he waved her off and slowly began to walk.

Kathryn noticed his direction and nodded, “okay, let me get you some clothes. There’s plenty of towels in there,” he didn’t respond as he stopped at the doorway to the bathroom catching his breath. She appeared behind him with some clothes and placed her hand on his lower back. “Chakotay, please, how will I know if you need help?”

He glanced down at her and couldn't help but feel the shiver travel through him with her hand on his lower back. Then he caught the look in her eyes, she wanted to help, so he said softly, “I'll - call - ” and she nodded, satisfied with his answer. She then let him walk into the bathroom and close the door.

=/\=

Chakotay managed to use the bathroom with no problem. He took a long, hot shower and felt considerably better in the process. Once he was done with his shower, he stood with a towel wrapped around his waist studying his face.

He knew he needed a haircut and also to shave his beard. He was tempted to ask Kathryn to do the trim, but decided to do it himself. But, decided to keep the beard for now.

He found the shaving kit on the sink and a folded set of clothes on a small shelf beside the sink. He wondered when she had come in and left them, since he didn't hear her.

With a smirk, he shook his head and opened the kit finding a special trimmer for a beard and hair. He turned it on and began to trim the longer parts on the back of his neck and around his ears, as well as, off his forehead. He knew it'd be slightly uneven, but eventually he'd have it done elsewhere. He then pushed his hair back with his fingers and checked to be sure the beard was neat.

After a touch up, he decided it was and reached for the pair of gray boxer shorts on the top of the pile.

=/\=

Kathryn glanced at the chronometer starting to get worried. Chakotay had been in the bathroom for close to an hour. He was still in the shower when she entered quietly and left his clothes and shaving kit beside the sink. She then left him alone and now he still hadn't come out.

She was tempted to go check on him when the door finally opened and a moment later he appeared to look healthier and more relaxed. She smiled at him pleased as he stood for a moment and was somewhat surprised he still left the beard, but happy he'd trimmed his hair.

“Well, you look wonderful,” she said. “Feel any better?” He nodded and walked slowly into the rest of the cabin. She watched him head over to the armchair and sighed, “in case you feel like it, we can take a walk. The ship has a nice observatory - ” He shook his head, she sighed trying not to feel defeated in all this. She placed her hands on her hips thinking, then walked over to a small cloth bag on the table, opened it and pulled out a commbadge. She put hers on and then took the other one out. She decided she needed the walk instead and walked over to him, “here, take this.” She held out the badge.

Chakotay glanced into her hand finding the former Voyager commbadge they used to wear. His throat tightened with the recognition and he took it from her fingering it gently. She wanted to break down his wall, but he was being stubborn. This will be a difficult two months unless something happened.

“I have - ” she said and bit her lip stopping her tears. “Mine on,” she shook her head. “I'll be walking,” and quickly left before she did cry.

After she had left, he still sat staring at the commbadge, knowing it had his biosign attached. He was tempted to call her back, but she needed time apart from him, even though it had only been a day since they were reunited. His heart ached with her tears that she hid from him and felt his own tears sting his eyes because that one part of him still hurt from their separation and what he went through.

He then noticed her book on the table and picked it up reading the title, “The Calm Before the Storm,” and smirked, realizing her irony in all this. Something she was always good at.

Only, it was a storm at sea, yet, but in space for one more day before the waves really got rough.

=/\=

Kathryn retreated up to the large observatory in the transport that was filled with trees, flowers, benches to sit on and a nearby playground for the children on board. The observatory was located on the starboard side and had large windows to show space.

She found a quiet area facing the windows and sat down trying to get herself under control. It had only been one day so far, and he was being more difficult than she had known.

She figured he did hate her now and began to wonder if this was a good idea to bring him home. She sat forward with a groan putting her face in her hands to stop the tears that still wanted to come.

Kathryn shuddered forcing the tears back and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. A whimper escaped her nonetheless and she gritted her teeth forcing it back.

Her whole middle hurt and she felt like she was going to burst from the pressure. “I'm - sorry,” she whimpered to Chakotay, decks below. “I'm so sorry,” suddenly it just became too much and the tears slipped through her hands and down her face. She tried to wipe her face, but they kept coming. “Forgive me,” she whispered and forced herself to breathe and focus on calming herself.

Slowly she began to calm, feeling alittle less pressure on her, knowing the tears did her good. But, she knew this was just the beginning.

As soon as she was calm enough, she realized she had to find a bathroom to wash her face before returning to the cabin or he would know she was upset. She stood up and left the observatory in search of a public restroom.

=/\=

While Kathryn was gone, Chakotay had gotten up to walk around the cabin. He opened the dresser drawers finding her civilian clothes and a uniform, then his own.

He found the clothes she brought for him enough for these few days and consisted of the style he chose. He was amazed at her memory and suddenly remembered his medicine bundle wondering what happened to it after he was captured. He figured it got destroyed by the Cardassian’s who attacked the camp.

Now it was time to build another one.

He then turned away and felt a sudden sharp pain travel down his bad leg. He cried out softly and winced in the pain starting to breathe and control the pain. It slowly began to subside and he started to limp back to the nearest place he could sit, which ended up being her bed.

He was still sitting there when the doors opened to the cabin and Kathryn entered. Despite the subsiding pain he still felt, he noticed her drawn face. She had obviously been crying, but didn't want him to know. He felt bad for her, but it was something he couldn't prevent right now.

The moment Kathryn entered the cabin, her own thoughts were diverted to Chakotay sitting on her bed, slightly pale and flushed, obviously in pain.

“What happened?” she asked, alarmed at his appearance. She walked over and knelt in front of him while feeling his forehead. “You look awful. Chakotay, talk to me dammit! What happened?” He shook his head waving her off. She started to get angry. “Fine, if you don't want to, I'm calling sickbay - ” and stood up turning away.

Chakotay groaned and reached out grabbing her arm, she turned angrily back to him. He shook his head, “no - ” he said, in a whisper. “Okay - ”

Kathryn's face softened and she took his hand kneeling before him and placing her hand against his face gently. “Okay, no sickbay. You must be sick of doctors,” he stared at her and then nodded. “Well, I think you should rest. You’ve done enough today. Can we agree on that?” He nodded again, “okay, come on, let me help you up,” and stood.

Chakotay was grateful for her there, but he was determined for no doctor's to tend to him anymore. He held her hand and then returned the grasp and started to rise letting her pull him up.

Once he was on his feet, she hooked her arm to his and led him back over to the cot where he sat down and swung his legs on. She pulled the blanket off her bed and covered him with it.

“Just rest,” she said gently and he closed his eyes letting sleep take him.

=/\=

Chakotay woke up a few hours later to find Kathryn preparing their last dinner on board. She smiled softly at him, “hello there. Hungry?” He nodded sitting up, “how does lasagna - vegetable - sound?” He nodded again, "shall I bring it -?” And saw him slowly stand. She nodded, “good, come over and eat.” She watched him work his way over and pull a chair out of the table and sit down.

Kathryn stared at him noticing his mussed hair and how he was attempting to wake up. While he slept, she had prepared their bags for departure the next morning when they reached Spacedock. She also made sure sickbay provided a wheelchair to transport them to the station transporters, which they would be beamed right to the pier where the boat waited.

“Here you go,” she said, placing his plate in front of him, as well as, a bowl of salad and a hot cup of tea. Once he had his, she then got hers and sat down, but with some coffee.

They ate in silence throughout dinner and once he was done, he stood up to use the bathroom. She watched him walk slowly over to his dresser drawer and pull out his pajamas and then walk in and close the door.

While he changed, she cleaned up from dinner and changed out there since he was using the bathroom. When he came out, she was in her robe and brushing her hair. He went to his cot and opened the blankets slipping inside.

She stood up to use the bathroom as well and said, “goodnight,” and walked in closing the door.

=/\=

When she came out of the bathroom, she was dressed in her nightgown and had her hair tied behind her with a ribbon. She noticed he wasn't asleep yet, but just lying in thought.

She took off her robe and then pulled back the bedcovers sitting down, but not getting in. She stared at him for a moment, then sighed, “Chakotay, can we talk?” He glanced at her, she held up her hand in response, “okay fine, then can I talk?” He shrugged, she sighed, “I don't know why - well, maybe I do - of why your not talking to me.”

She paused attempting to get her thoughts in order, then continued, “I'm sorry for what happened between us.” He glanced away, “but, you've got to understand, when you asked me to leave Starfleet - that wasn't an option for me at the time.” He turned away from her, obviously not wanting to listen now. She wrung her hands in frustration, “please, listen to me Chakotay, I - I've missed you. When I've had to deal with the thought of you possibly being held captive by some Cardassian’s, I was terrified!

“I want us - ” she continued and trembled as the tears built again. “I just want us - to be - friends again. Please.” He didn't respond, she wiped her eyes quickly and figured he wasn't going to. She then slipped beneath the covers and sighed, “we dock tomorrow. We'll be getting up early, just so you know,” and lowered the lights.

They lay in silence and she turned on her side from him letting the tears slide quietly down her face. She cried herself to sleep that night, while he listened and then fell asleep himself.

When the transport docked inside Spacedock early the next morning, Kathryn had already showered and dressed and was waiting for Chakotay to finish up before they left. Passengers had two hours to depart before the next trip to DS9.

While he dressed, she called sickbay to have the wheelchair brought up so she could take him to the transporters and also contacted Mark, to let him know they were back and to have Molly with him by the time they reached the pier.

She sat at the desk, feeling slightly worn just after the first two days. Chakotay was still giving her the cold shoulder, except when he had to mutter a word if necessary to her.

“So, it’s been difficult?” he asked her.

“Kathryn put her hand to her face, “he - he’s not talking to me. I don’t know how to get him to talk. We’ve never gone through this before.”

“Oh, Katie,” he said, with a sigh. “I wish I knew what to tell you. Just use your instincts and common sense. That’s the best thing.”

She smirked, then sighed, “thanks, Mark. We’ll be there in a half hour or so. I’ll see you then.”

“See you then,” he said with a nod and cut the transmission.

Kathryn sat at the desk quietly for several moments when she heard the bathroom door open and Chakotay appeared dressed in dark brown trousers and a simple white button down short-sleeved shirt. Her throat tightened at how handsome he looked, even with the beard.

“Ready?” she asked him, standing up. He nodded, she then pulled the wheelchair around. “I’ve got this so you wouldn’t overexert, but on the boat, you’ll have to manage.” He didn’t argue and slowly sat down in the chair. She then picked up their carry-on bags and slung one over her shoulder and handed him his. “Make yourself useful,” she told him as she did. “Let’s go,” and pushed his chair out of the cabin and down to the lift that would take them to the transporters.

When they arrived at the marina located in San Francisco, it was a beautiful day. The air blew warmly around them as Kathryn led Chakotay down the pier to where several large schooners were tied up.

Only one however, was ready for sail, as its masthead was ready and there was someone on board going over supplies.

Chakotay found it was a beautiful 35-foot schooner with red and blue racing stripes on the side called “Laura’s Wake,” that had a large deck with the wheel located in the center. He heard a dog barking as they got closer and then saw an older man with gray/silver hair, wearing jeans and a windbreaker holding onto a large golden retriever who was barking at them.

That’s when he recognized Kathryn’s ex-fiancee, Mark.

As he was wondering why Mark was there, he let Molly go racing up the dock to Kathryn, who knelt down in front of the dog, rubbing her ears affectionately and getting happily licked on the face at the same time. She laughed with joy at seeing the dog again. 

As he stood there finding he enjoyed her like this, she stopped after a moment and rose glancing at Chakotay, “this is Molly, our boatmate. Not the original, she died before we came home, but this is one of her pups. She’s only two years old.” Mark then walked up to them, “and this is Mark, my friend.”

“Nice to meet you,” Mark smiled at Chakotay, who stared at him. As Mark studied his former adversary while Kathryn was in the Delta Quadrant, he noticed a concerned look in the other man’s eyes. It was obvious he didn’t like doing what he was to Kathryn, but felt it necessary.

Chakotay nodded and glanced back out at the marina, admiring the view. One of many he’s missed for so long.

Kathryn looked at Mark, and he smiled gently at her. Then he said, “everything’s on board and ready when you are,” he gazed down at Molly. “Take care of your mistress and Chakotay, girl,” and Molly barked.

“Thanks,” she said, softly. Then sighed, “let’s go,” and led both Molly and Chakotay down the deck to the waiting boat.

Mark watched as both Kathryn and Molly got on board and then help Chakotay. He was obviously stronger, but still experiencing some pain.

Once the boat was underway out of the marina, he turned and left.

=/\=

The schooner was equipped to sleep six comfortably, with a queen-sized bed, and four bunk beds that were located in an adjacent room. Kathryn was willing to share the larger bed with him, but he took his bag into the other room.

There was also a full kitchen with plasma burners and a small replicator, a stocked cooler and a small area with a radio to keep contact with land and a pad to chart the course. Also, there was a large sofa in the sitting area, full carpeting, teak decks forward and aft.

Once the boat was underway and Kathryn was on deck guiding the boat, Chakotay sat on his bunk in silence feeling the gentle rocking of the boat as it traveled out to sea.

He felt stronger and the salted air did revive his senses. Slowly he stood up and walked over to the large duffle bag Kathryn had brought into him. He opened it and smiled softly recognizing some of his old clothes.

He began to pull them out, shaking them free of wrinkles and refolding them in one of the provided drawers that were built into the wall. As he went to pull out the last pair of trousers, he spotted a bundle that was rolled in a small towel.

Curious, he reached in and pulled it out opening it and felt a wash of hope and relief flood him as he recognized his medicine bundle. He was thrilled it had survived the attack and began to open it inspecting the contents. Everything looked intact, but slightly scuffed or scratched, something he could fix. Now that he had his medicine bundle again, he felt mentally stable again and planned to contact his spirit guide after dinner.

He was about to head out into the main room, when Molly appeared just as he was leaving. She yelped softly at him and nuzzled his leg. He smiled gently at her whispering, “where’s your mistress, girl?” Molly wagged her tail with a bark, and he gazed outside the boat. He wanted to kneel beside her, but couldn’t due to his leg still aching somewhat. “Have you been taking care of her?” She barked twice, “that’s good, someone has to.” He managed to reach down and scratch behind her ears, “but, what I’m doing - I have no choice.” She whined staring up at him, “let’s go,” and she barked again leading him outside to the deck.

=/\=

Kathryn anchored the boat 25 miles offshore right before dinner. She planned to have them at least 45 miles by the end of the week if the weather held out.

She was pleased that Chakotay had finally came out on deck and with Molly. He sat down in a comfortable cushioned deck chair. As she steered the boat to a good spot, based on the sensor’s she read in front of her, she let the ocean wind soothe her and blow her hair around.

As she did, she smiled watching Chakotay and Molly bond while he sat in the chair. The dog lay beside him while he ran his foot along her silky coat in a gentle massage.

Once she had the boat anchored, she went inside to prepare dinner.

While she prepared dinner, she began to think of a way she could get a response out of him. She thought of a nightgown she could wear that might get his attention, but she didn’t want to look as if she were offering herself to him.

Although, she reasoned, it wouldn’t hurt to act alittle provocative by walking around in her regular nightgown before bed. She smiled at that thought as she started to set the small round table with the plates and silver.

When she had dinner ready, the sea was calm and she stepped back out onto the deck to find Chakotay standing on the aft by the railing gazing out at the sunset. She didn’t see the tears in his eyes as he viewed his first sunset in two years. The colors were pink and gold as they spread along the horizon, tinting the few clouds there.

She walked up quietly behind him, “dinner’s ready,” she told him softly.

Chakotay nodded, not responding and waited until she had moved away to quickly wipe the tears from his eyes. He wanted to share this beautiful view with Kathryn, but he didn’t want her to see him like this.

After several moments, he sighed feeling more in control, then slowly turned making his way back to the cabin and stepped down inside. He found Kathryn sitting at the table waiting for him, with each a glass of white wine.

“Are you okay?” she asked him gently.

His eyes caught hers and that’s when he realized she knew what he had been feeling out on the deck and left him alone. Even though this made him love her even more, it didn’t erase his anger toward’s her.

He sat down opposite her and picked up the glass of wine taking a sip. It was quiet as they ate dinner and could hear the gentle rocking of the boat. He didn’t meet her eyes throughout and when done, got up and left the table back to his room.

Once he left, Kathryn cursed quietly putting her face in her hand feeling a tear slide down her cheek. She began to feel the whole effort was hopeless, but vowed she wouldn’t give up until he forgave her.

She then stood up and began to clear the table off.

=/\=

Later that night, after he was sure Kathryn and Molly had gone to bed, Chakotay took his medicine bundle and stepped out into the main cabin. Once he did, he saw Molly stretched out before Kathryn’s room and her door was open.

It was quiet and he could see her asleep. Molly stirred lifting her head gazing at him in the dim light. He put a finger to his mouth shaking his head telling her to be quiet. She seemed to understand and put her head back down.

He breathed a sigh of relief and turned heading out to the open deck. Once outside, he found a starfilled sky and yellow moon. It was the perfect night to do this.

Since he couldn’t really sit on the deck yet due to his leg, he sat instead on the top step where he could pull himself up easily and spread out his medicine bundle. Then he picked up the amulet and concentrated, once ready he touched the akoonah.

Chakotay closed his eyes beginning to chant, “ah-koo-chee-moya, I am far from my ancestors, yet close to the sun. Please contact those close to me.” ....

...Slowly as the haze cleared, Chakotay found himself standing on the deck of the boat. It wasn’t night time, but a sunny warm day and the sail was extended as the ship moved through the water. He glanced around and saw his father sitting on the starboard side of the ship enjoying the breeze with his legs hanging over the side.

He smiled and worked his way over to him. Despite the movement of the boat, the deck wasn’t hard to navigate. As he neared, his father peered up at him in the sunlight, “I’ve missed you Chakotay,” he said.

Without pain, Chakotay sat easily down beside him, “I’ve missed you, father.”

“Where have you been?” he asked curiously.

“I’ve been a prisoner,” Chakotay replied, “of the Cardassian’s for a couple of years.” His father nodded, “it was luck that some Bajoran’s liberated that camp I was in. I was ready to die there.”

Kolopak looked at him, “but you didn’t. You were meant to survive for something else.” Chakotay shrugged as the wind blew past them. He gazed around him, “I like this boat, it’s free.” Then paused, “but, your heart isn’t. Why so sad?”

Chakotay sighed, “not sad, angry.”

“At who?”

He shook his head, “I know she doesn’t deserve it, but - ”

“- Then you ignore her out of anger?” Kolopak asked. “When all she’s tried to do is help you. Do you really think that’s fair to her?”

“I don’t know how to fix it,” he said.

“The heart always forgives,” Kolopak said and glanced behind him. “Look at her,” he told him. “Look.”

Chakotay slowly turned to find a vision of Kathryn steering the boat, dressed in shorts, a halter top, sneakers and with her hair pulled back. She saw them and waved alittle, and he heard Molly bark.

“Her heart aches for you,” Kolopak said. “Her tears are deep, but you won’t let her make it up to you. That’s not like you Chakotay.”

“That camp - ” he said, shaking his head. “It took so much out of me.”

“Let her help you,” Kolopak said. “And your anger will go away.”

“It’s difficult - ” Chakotay replied, “but, I’ll try."

His father nodded and slowly daytime turned back into night as he found himself on the deck as the boat rocked gently still....

Chakotay opened his eyes to the starlight and felt some of the pressure on him lift his anger toward’s Kathryn. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, but that’s exactly what he was doing. He had to figure a way to show her that his anger wasn’t permanent.

He then pulled his medicine bundle together and tied it, then pulled himself slowly to his feet. He winced slightly at the ache in his thigh, but it subsided and he walked back to his bunk. Before going in, he stood at the adjacent doorway to Kathryn’s room and stared at her.

Molly was now asleep beside her on the bed and he smiled in the amusement of viewing the two auburn twins. He quietly stepped inside and over to the bed finding she was wearing a different nightgown.

It was silk, a pale pink, but more of a slip dress with a v-neck that appeared to go below the knees. Although the sheet came to her waist, he could see a bare knee as it peeked out from underneath.

He felt his desire for her grow again and realized how much he had missed the feel of her against him. He wanted to make love to her again, but not until everything was cleared up between them.

She was sleeping deeply, probably more so than she ever had during their years in the Delta Quadrant. Kathryn or himself, no longer had to stay alert subconsciously for attacks against them or any other emergencies that happened to come up now and then.

Suddenly, he wanted to just touch her, without waking. He moved quietly around the bed and reached out stroking a lock of her hair that lay against the pillow. It was just as soft and silky as he remembered and wanted to touch her face, but knew she’d wake up. She stirred and he pulled his hand away quickly as she rolled back over onto her side, cushioning her arm beneath the pillow.

He wanted to just watch her, but wasn’t sure if she’d wake up and he didn’t want to be found there. “I love you,” he whispered, to her. “I love you, so much. I’m sorry,” and he slowly turned and walked out of her room and back to his.

Molly raised her head a moment later watching him leave and then crawled closer to Kathryn placing her face on her mistress’ hip and fell back to sleep.

When Kathryn woke the next morning, she found Molly asleep on her stomach and sighed. She lay on her back stroking Molly’s head gently listening to the waves washing up against the sides of the boat.

Sunlight filtered through the small portholes as she felt her head settle and she stretched alittle. Molly lifted her head gazing at her and Kathryn frowned, “what?” She whined, “hungry, already?” The tail wagged alittle, she groaned, “okay, come on,” and with a bark, Molly stood up and got off the bed.

Kathryn sat up pulling the sheet off her and swung her legs to the floor. She stood up and headed out to the cabin to feed Molly, start some breakfast and prepare the boat for the next leg of the trip.

As she stepped out, she stopped to look in on Chakotay and found him asleep on one of the lower bunks. As she studied him, she found his face looked peaceful and he looked better than he had in the last couple of days. Maybe the ocean was helping him, but she wasn’t sure.

Not wanting to disturb him, she stepped away from the door and went to make breakfast.

=/\=

Chakotay stirred softly feeling the boat rocking slightly more. He also smelled fresh coffee and toast. He then sat up with a groan and feeling more hungry than he had in days.

Then he pulled his blanket back and slowly stood up and was surprised to find that lingering ache in his thigh was gone. He flexed for a moment finding it felt normal.

With a sigh, he headed into the bathroom before breakfast.

By the time Chakotay was finished, he found his breakfast that consisted of eggs, melon and toast in the warmer waiting. He also poured himself some orange juice and then sat down at the table to eat.

He didn’t see Kathryn around, but assumed she was out on deck getting the boat ready for the next leg of the trip.

As he ate, he pondered how he was going to overcome his anger towards her. She was trying to make it up to him. He could see that. It was just getting his heart to. He decided to see how the day went and just as he was finishing up, he heard Molly bark and moments later, she entered the cabin stopping next to him wagging her tail.

He smiled at her, “good morning. Did she come to tell you to get me?” Molly barked twice, he nodded with a chuckle. “She knows, doesn’t she?” Molly stared up at him, he sighed, “she’s always known.” After a moment, he pushed back the chair and stood up with his plate, “well, let’s not disappoint her,” and walked over to the replicator and recycled the dishes.

He then went to go change into a pair of shorts, shirt and sandals. Once dressed, he headed out to the deck.

=/\=

Once outside, he found them already at full sail, since she had the sail fully open as it caught a nice gust of wind and saw her at the wheel guiding the boat. He stared at her for a moment, ready to say good morning, but found he still couldn’t.

Kathryn noticed Chakotay after a moment and then smiled at him, happy to see he was looking stronger and better. “Good morning, you look much better,” she told him. He was still thin, but she could see more weight on his hips and he didn’t look so malnourished. “How was breakfast?” He shrugged, “well, we’re underway again, so just sit down and relax. I plan to fish for dinner later.”

Chakotay almost stopped as he sat down in the deck chair realizing what she said about fishing. He knew she never fished before, since he did it while on New Earth. Trying to hide the amusement on his face, he glanced at her and saw her quirk an eyebrow at him. That’s when he lost and smiled slightly at her and she grinned at him knowing she got the response she was looking for. He shook his head glancing away trying to hide his growing grin knowing he couldn’t wait to see her fish later.

As he did, Kathryn fought her own amusement in this and suddenly realized she couldn’t wait to see his reaction when she wore her bathing suit as well, when she decided to take a swim.

=/\=

By early afternoon, Kathryn anchored the boat 35 miles out and was ready to take a swim since the sun was hot. Chakotay was sitting on the deck with Molly as she dozed beside him.

She headed over to the cabin gazing at them and found he was dozing as well and smiled. The sun had deepened his skin and his tattoo seemed darker as well. She was tempted to touch it, but didn’t.

Instead, she went inside to change and put on a deep red two-piece bathing suit, some sun screen to protect her fair skin, grabbed a towel and sun hat and went back out.

She opened a deck chair to sit on and pulled out the special rope ladder lowering it over the side and hooked the ends making sure it was secure. Once ready, she turned and started to descend into the water.

During this, Chakotay faked a nap, but peered out of one eye as he watched her get ready. He felt his arousal and forced it back as she walked around in the bathing suit. This was an innocent display she was giving him and he was enjoying it, but wouldn’t allow her to realize.

Once she was in the water, he opened his eyes listening to her swim, just beyond the boat. He stayed close, just to be sure she was okay. So, he slowly stood up to stretch his legs and walked slowly over to the side watching her swim. She was stroking gently backward with her eyes closed enjoying the coolness of the water.

He grinned at the vision she made before him and shook his head as he realized how deeply he still loved her. Just before she opened her eyes, he stepped back to allow her to climb back on board.

Instead, he heard, “Chakotay, come here.”

He hesitated for a moment, then stepped forward again to find her staring up at him while treading water. “Come swimming,” she said to him. “The water’s warm and it’d be good for your leg.” He stared at her, she smirked at him, “come on, please.” She sighed, “I promise, I won’t bite.”

Chakotay stared at her, tempted to join her, but feared if he did, he wouldn’t be able to control himself and would take her up against the hull of the boat. That’s the last thing he wanted to do, despite his growing arousal for her.

So, he shook his head and stepped away, not seeing the disappointment in her face. Once away, he gave a sigh of relief and stepped back down into the cabin to refocus in his small room before going back out on the deck.

=/\=

Later that afternoon, when Kathryn had finished her swimming and sunbathing, she changed back into a pair of shorts and tank shirt and then pulled out a fishing pole, bait and tackle box.

When she appeared on deck with the fishing gear, Chakotay lowered the padd novel he was reading and watched her for a moment. He watched her step up to her deck chair and sit down opening the tackle box to pick up a fly.

He placed his hand against his mouth leaning propped up on his arm amused at her attempt. She managed to tie the fly onto the line and then opened the bait container. Her face at the live bait was enough to make him grin and she glanced in his direction, he hid the smile.

Kathryn glanced back down at the bait and bit her lip, wondering if this was a good idea. She groaned reasoning if she could handle boarding a Borg cube, she could handle picking up a slimy worm. Although her stomach told her otherwise.

Deciding to handle it, she reaching inside and pulled one out and began to attempt to put it on the hook. It wasn’t easy, since she’d never done it before.

Chakotay saw her trying to fix the bait and decided he couldn’t stand it anymore. If she kept this up, there’d be no fishing until the next day. With a sigh, he slowly stood up, stretched his bad leg finding the ache had returned and walked slowly over to her.

As Kathryn was about to give up, suddenly Chakotay’s hand took the rod from her and then the bait. She watched him as he expertly attached the bait to the hook and then handed it back to her. She smiled up at him, “thanks,” he nodded and turned away. Despite it all, she felt a breakthrough had been made.

The fishing wasn’t bad, as Kathryn caught a few yellow fin tuna and pacific mackerel, something Chakotay was impressed with. Before she could gag at the idea of gutting the fish, he took them from her and a knife and proceeded to do so on the end of the boat. While he did that, she prepared a salad and set the table.

Dinner that night was more relaxed, but still silent. To cut the quiet, she had soft music playing and dressed in a soft white silk blouse and burgundy trousers. Her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail with a white bow to match.

Chakotay thought she looked beautiful and dinner matched their more relaxed moods. He was starting to get up the nerve to finally talk to her again.

Kathryn felt better about them, even though he still wasn’t talking to her. Once they finished dinner, he got up and went to bed. She wondered if he was in some pain because of the slight limp he had that night. She had some painkillers on her, but knowing him like she did, he wouldn’t ask for them unless it got unbearable.

After cleaning up, she then readied for bed herself and checked up on Chakotay to find him asleep. Satisfied he was okay, she went to bed herself.

=/\=

That night, as Chakotay slept, he began to dream of his period spent in the Cardassian labor camp, Gar Norean. It had been an isolated camp, small and hidden deep inside Cardassia territory. It was one he’d never heard of, even as his time as a Maquis.

Despite its size, it didn’t diminish the brutality he expected from the Cardassian’s. After his initial breakup with Kathryn when Voyager came home, he left the ship less than an hour later with his one bag of possessions, without bidding her farewell and stayed in a discrete motel so he wouldn’t be bothered by the press.

B’Elanna had found him brooding days later and he told her what had happened between him and Kathryn. She hadn’t been surprised at Kathryn’s response regarding leaving Starfleet, but was shocked in his assumption that she’d be selfish and ignore their new relationship.

She had suggested he talk to her, but he was still too angry himself over what happened and took upon an offer to join a team of scientists to take part on a dig on an abandoned moon near Cardassia territory.

He’d only been there a few weeks when the camp was raided and most of his teammates killed or captured. The initial distruptor blast that knocked him unconscious numbed his senses and arms. When he woke up on a small and dirty ship, he found himself in a dark cell with two other teammates who were barely alive.

Once conscious, the guards began interrogating him as to why he was on the moon and what he was doing there. Their dig wasn’t classified, but Chakotay wouldn’t give into the Cardassian’s and refused to tell. With that, they had beat him unconscious again.

He woke up again on a dirty straw mat with a broken arm, bruised face and chest and it felt like a fractured pelvic bone. He managed to put his arm into a make shift sling and figure out where he was.

In his discovery of the wayward camp, his thoughts were on Kathryn and how he began to wish they’d never returned from the Delta Quadrant. The situation he was now in and the injuries he was suffering from, with no medical help in sight, only fueled his anger toward’s her.

And then they found out he was a former Maquis and the celebrated first officer from Voyager. His life then became a living hell of more beatings, heavy labor of dragging large stones - despite his painfully broken arm and the starvation.

Before he had been rescued, one brutal guard had kicked him in the ribs because he’d fallen down with a stone and to add more pain, broke his leg out of spite. Chakotay had lost his will to fight back at that point and was lying in his hut with his eyes closed and semiconscious when a commotion was heard, some distruptor fire and a Bajoran he’d never seen before entered the hut looking for other captured Bajoran’s when he was spotted.

The Bajoran found pity on him and given the fact he was human, pulled him to his feet and helped him to the waiting runabout among distruptor fires. The moment he was in the runabout and put into a chair, he passed out.

When he woke up hours later, he was on a biobed in a hospital ward, but it wasn’t federation. It was a small Trill hospital ship and the doctor’s there were doing the best they could to care for him . . . 

. . . His vision was blurred and with his whole body aching with such an intensity, he wished he were unconscious again. Through his haze, he groaned placing his free hand over his eyes to block the bright light.

“Name?” asked a voice, but soft. “Do you have a name?”

Chakotay moaned, his dream of Kathryn’s face still permeating his thoughts. “Kath - ” and shook his head alittle, trying to focus. “Where?”

There was a pause, then, “the D’Nar. You’re on a hospital ship bound for Deep Space Nine.”

Chakotay peered up at the doctor, his vision cleared sightly and he saw the blue eyes first and then some speckled markings on the temples and down the neck.

It had been awhile, but he was sure, “trill?” The doctor nodded, “how? Why-?”

“ - The Bajoran’s who rescued you,” the doctor replied, “were part of a militant faction. It was a chance they found you in that camp. They handed you over to us since they weren’t heading to Deep Space Nine.”

Chakotay nodded, he was thirsty and his leg and chest ached horribly. “I’ll send them my . . . thanks,” he then groaned slightly in the pain. “Please, I hurt -”

“ - We’ve only got the bare minimum,” the doctor replied. “And some of the painkillers won’t work effectively - ”

“ - I’ll take it!” Chakotay groaned. “Please - anything -”

“Very well,” the doctor said and signaled to a nurse. She appeared a moment later and he held a hypospray. “This will only be temporary, but it should provide you with some comfort.” He injected him with it.

Chakotay sighed with some relief as the medication dulled the pain in his leg and chest somewhat. He started to relax again, his eyes started to close as he wanted to sleep. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Before you sleep,” the doctor asked, “can you please tell me your name?”

Chakotay peered up at him, he sighed, knowing he could reveal who he was since he was safe. “Chakotay - ” and stopped thinking. Then, “just Chakotay.”

The doctor nodded, “very well, Chakotay. Now, try to sleep and let us know if you need anything,” and moved away.

Chakotay fell back to sleep . . . 

...When the doctor had cross-checked his human patient’s name on all missing person’s lists, he found on the federation’s list, that his patient was Commander Chakotay from Voyager, who had disappeared almost two years before.

Once aware of that, he contacted the federation envoy to inform him that Chakotay had been found and alive.

Suddenly he woke up with a start in the darkness of the cabin. He gasped at the memory putting his hand against his face, trying to clear his head.

He cursed quietly as his anger returned toward’s Kathryn. She had done so much for him this week, yet he couldn’t get past what he went through at the camp, something he blamed her for.

He then lay back against the bed attempting to find sleep. It finally came hours later, restless.

When Kathryn woke the next morning, she checked the weather pattern and recognized a storm brewing about 150 miles southwest. At the moment, it was too far away to be concerned over, but she wanted to keep an eye on it just in case.

She then started to make breakfast to prepare the ship for the last leg to where she wanted to anchor.

=/\=

She was on deck with Molly at the wheel when Chakotay appeared. She started to smile at him and then stopped when she saw the deep circles under his eyes and the glare he gave her.

Kathryn felt her heart skip realizing something was wrong. This was new to her, his mood swings. But now, this mood showed actual hostility to her. She couldn’t understand what she had done to make him feel this way toward’s her so suddenly.

She then put the boat on the autopilot and stepped slowly down to him as he sat quietly in the chair looking away from her. She sank quietly down beside him on the deck.

“Chakotay?” she asked softly, he didn’t respond. “Is there something wrong?” She then held her hands trying to stay calm, the hostility he was emanating was making her uneasy. She sighed, “did I do something wrong?” At that moment he glared at her and that’s when she knew that was it. “What? What did I do? Please, tell me.” He looked away, she was getting frustrated and clenched her hands, “talk to me! Don’t - do this!” Then she reached out placing her hand on his arm, he then stood pulling his arm away. She gasped in the shock, realizing he actually did hate her at this moment. She trembled, “dammit Chakotay! Tell me what I did! I deserve that - ” and then he turned and moved away, toward’s the bow of the boat.

Kathryn fought the tears that wanted to come as he moved to the bow. She put her face in her hands feeling a whimper creep up and fought it back. She couldn’t understand what she’d done to make him hate her so much right now and he obviously wasn’t going to tell her, which made it even worse.

She then turned away and stepped back up to the wheel taking off the autopilot and focused on steering the boat. As she did, a few tears escaped and she wiped them furiously away.

The rest of the day went down hill from there. Chakotay kept his distance from her and she fought the tears still. Once she anchored for the final time, unless the storm got closer, she went inside with Molly to make dinner.

Chakotay didn’t join her that night. So, she left his food in the warmer and went to bed crying herself to sleep again.

=/\=

Hours later, Kathryn woke bleary eyed as the boat rocked gently against the waves. It was quiet and her eyes felt tight from her tears and her face raw from them. She rubbed her face tiredly and pushed her hair out of her eyes.

It was obvious Chakotay had gone to bed. She wasn’t sure if he’d eaten and decided to check since she needed some fresh air. She reached over grabbing her robe and pulled it on. She then tiredly stood up and headed out, Molly then followed her.

Kathryn peeked in to find Chakotay asleep on his side with his back to the door. She felt her eyes sting with more tears and leaned against the door frame whispering, “please, tell me what I’ve done. I’m sorry, for whatever it was.” The tears felt like coming again and she moved quietly away so she wouldn’t disturb him.

When she got to the small dining room, she found his empty plate and found no joy in it. Whatever had happened to them, it was starting to tear her apart. She picked up the plate and absently put it in the recycler and before going outside, checked where the storm was.

It had moved about 10 miles northeast and still posed no threat. But, if it got closer by morning, she’d pick up anchor and move closer to shore to avoid it.

Once she got out on deck, she sat down on her deck chair staring up at the starfilled sky. She decided not to fight her tears any more and leaned forward placing her face against her hands as the tears spilled down hot and fresh. A whimper escaped her as she tried to stifle the tears and couldn’t anymore.

“What’d I do?” she whimpered. “Oh god - I’d wish you’d tell me.”

=/\=

Chakotay had heard Kathryn outside his door and didn’t say anything. He knew she was upset, but he couldn’t prevent how he felt towards her at the moment. When she left, he lay on his bunk with a sigh and he heard her walking around.

It then grew quiet and he didn’t see her return to bed. Curious, he got up pulling on his robe over his pajama bottoms and walked quietly out to the main part of the cabin. He heard her outside and stepped closer to the doorway.

To see where she was, he had to lean in some and caught her sitting on her deck chair crying softly. The starlight illuminated her as she cried in the anguish of his anger that he was showing her.

Unable to prevent it, he shook his head wondering if they’d ever be friends again. Deciding to leave her alone, he returned quietly back to bed.

The next day was uneventful and still quiet between them. Kathryn finally decided to cut the quiet and ignore his mood by turning on some music, loudly, to block out his anger. He didn’t seem to care and kept to himself on the bow while she played with Molly by tossing a stick out into the water and Molly happily retrieved it.

The storm hadn’t moved much overnight, so she decided to keep the boat where it was.

Again, that night, she prepared dinner for both and ate hers alone. Before bed, she checked the storm again and found it had shifted towards them another five miles.

She had a feeling by morning, they’d be moving as well.

As both Chakotay and Kathryn slept, Molly didn’t as she felt her nerves standing on end and kept alert over both as she felt the storm move in closer. It wasn’t just the weather she sensed, but the storm brewing between her mistress and the man on board.

When Kathryn woke the next morning, the boat was rocking a bit more and the wind had picked up. She checked to find it had moved another six miles overnight and decided to pick up the anchor in the afternoon to move another 10 miles in towards shore.

After a light breakfast of coffee and some fruit, she prepared to bring the ship in closer. As she worked on deck, she could see the clouds building on the horizon. The storm was moving faster than she thought.

She had the course plotted to an area further southeast less likely to be affected and raised the sail. As she was tying it down, with some difficulty, Chakotay appeared on deck. Trying to hide her frustration in their relationship, she said, “we’ve got a storm brewing, just so you know. It might get alittle choppy, and I might need your help.”

Chakotay gazed over at her and then nodded, watching her finish the sail and move away.

Kathryn had the boat underway by early afternoon. She watched the sensor’s as she steered clear of the impending storm.

It was early evening when she found a safe spot and anchored there. There was still a bit of wind, but it wasn’t extreme.

Molly kept pacing and whining as Kathryn tried to calm her down, but she wouldn’t. Fearing for her safety, she put a leash on Molly to keep her inside the cabin.

When it was time for dinner, Kathryn could hear thunder in the distance and it was raining lightly outside as the boat rocked gently. Molly still paced and barked and Chakotay sat beside her to calm her down as he watched Kathryn track the storm.

=/\=

Later that night, after Kathryn and Chakotay went to bed, the storm rolled in and the boat began to rock furiously against the high wind and waves. The thunder and lightning clapped overhead and Molly began barking.

Kathryn wasn’t sleeping as she heard Molly’s anxious barking. She groaned yelling, “Molly! Quiet down!” Molly kept barking and Kathryn then decided to bring the dog in with her to keep her quiet.

She got out of bed and managed to walk out into the cabin on the unsteady deck to Molly. She knelt beside her feeling for her collar as Molly whined wanting release.

“Ssh,” she said, soothingly, stroking her head gently. “It’ll be okay.” Suddenly the cabin door blew open with a gust of wind and the deck lurched beneath her just as she released Molly. Kathryn was tossed backwards and Molly pulled away heading outside. “Molly! No!” she yelled, attempting to gain her balance on the rocking deck. Molly disappeared outside, “come back here!”

Kathryn worked her way outside and just as she reached the deck, she was greeted with strong winds and rain. She could just see Molly about 10 feet away. She then looked for something to hold onto while she attempted to retrieve her dog.

She found a rope attached to the side with a life preserver and unhooked it pulling it fully out. Hooking her arm through the center, she worked her way towards Molly, who barked at her.

“Stay there!” she yelled about the wind and rain. Just as she was about to reach Molly, a wave washed over the side and she lost her balance falling to the deck. She cursed and went to move, but couldn’t when she found the rope tangled around her foot. She reached down to remove the rope when the deck lurched again and she gasped as she lost her balance and grip feeling the edge of the deck. Unable to catch herself, she fell overboard into the stormy water with a hard plunge. The rope that was tangled around her foot held her tight. She surfaced gasping and was thrown against the hull as another wave washed over her.

“Help!” she screamed, hoping Chakotay could hear her and was thrown again harder, this time sinking beneath the water.

=/\=

Chakotay heard Molly barking outside and Kathryn’s call. Suddenly he didn’t hear her any more and began to wonder. He got out of bed and went out to the main room finding the door open to the deck. He heard Molly barking outside and figured Kathryn had gone to retrieve her.

Neither came back inside and he headed towards the door, dread overcoming him as he realized there was something wrong. “Molly! Kathryn!” he called. He only heard Molly and suddenly the dog appeared at the door barking frantically at him. “What is it? Where’s Kathryn?” Molly continued to bark, turning around then faced back outside. He reached out grabbing her collar, “stay here!” He managed to grab the leash attaching her to it and started outside.

When he got above the deck, he gazed around while holding onto the side of the steps. “Kathryn!” he called, not seeing her. He thought he heard a cry, but wasn’t sure. Suddenly his gaze caught the long red rope pulled tightly across the deck and over the side. His heart went into his throat as he realized she had fallen overboard somehow. “Kathryn! Spirits!” He then grabbed the heavy rope and worked his way over to the end. Once he was there, he could hear her cries for help and then lay on his stomach gazing over finding her holding onto the rope, but also tangled in it. “Kathryn -!”

Kathryn gasped for air as she suddenly saw Chakotay above her. She reached out to him, “Chak-help!” and started to sink again.

“Take my hand!” he commanded her, reaching down to her. She started to, but couldn’t. He then leaned out and down just grabbing her wrist as she started to sink another time. “Hold on!”

Kathryn whimpered, her eyes and throat burning from the salty water. He had her firmly and she lurched up grabbing his other hand. She felt his strength take over and he began to pull her back on board. Once back on deck, he untangled the rope from around her foot and leg as she gasped trying to catch her breath.

Chakotay finally had her free and then picked her up working his way back inside. Once inside, he lowered her to the floor, slammed the door shut and fell to his knees gasping himself. She lay curled into a fetal position, her gown clinging to her body. She was coughing to remove the sea water from her lungs. “Are you insane?!” he snapped at her. “You could have drowned!”

“The dog - ” she replied gasping.

Chakotay went into the bathroom and returned with two dry towels. He tossed one angrily at her, “you shouldn’t have gone out!” He sat down in a nearby chair, “and your more important than that dog.”

Kathryn pushed herself over onto her backside, she peered up at him, “I didn’t think you even cared,” she said harshly, her throat raw from coughing.

He stared at her, “I’ve always cared - ”

She glared at him shaking her head, “then why do you hate - me, so much?”

Chakotay was shocked at her words, as he realized that’s how she had perceived his anger towards her. “I’ve never hated you,” he said softly. “As much as I’ve been - angry with you, never hate.” She stared up at him wiping her face. “I’ve never stopped loving you.”

Kathryn felt her stomach lurch as she felt sick, she gritted her teeth forcing it down. She clutched her middle, “liar!” she hissed and got up and ran to the bathroom.

Chakotay heard her retching. He followed her into the bathroom finding her hanging over the commode. She was throwing up the salt water swallowed and he knelt beside her pulling her hair out of her face.

“Don’t -!” she groaned and whimpered. “After all - I did for you - ” she now was dry heaving. The tears stung as they fell, she stopped heaving and knelt back. “I came to Deep Space Nine - to help - you. And all you do is - act is if - I’m the enemy,” and began to cry.

Chakotay’s face fell, “no, Kathryn - ”

“- I’ve never stopped - “ she whimpered, “loving - you. Now I realize, after everything, I find out you hate me - ”

He then pulled her into his arms, “no, no,” he soothed gently. “I was so happy to see you,” she still cried, burying her face against his bare chest. He held her gently kissing the top of her head, “I’m so sorry you felt that way,” and she lifted her head gazing up at him.

Kathryn reached up cupping the side of his face, feeling his beard beneath her wet hand. “Chakotay,” she whispered, “oh god - “

“Kathryn - ” he said deeply. His heart was racing with his desire for her. He then lowered his head kissing her deeply and gently.

Kathryn groaned in response feeling his mouth on hers and with her own hunger for him, responded wrapping her arms around his neck clinging tightly.

As they kissed for the first time in two years, they didn’t notice the storm had started to dissipate. Chakotay then slid his arm beneath her legs, cradling her wet body to his own. He began to stand slowly and carried her into the bedroom lowering her to the bed and laying against her as well.

Kathryn gasped clutching him to her, feeling his hardness against her leg. He began to kiss her face and throat passionately, holding her hands above her head. Her head was spinning in the passion, she gasped as he lowered his mouth to a risen bud beneath her wet gown.

“Chak-o-tay - ” she whispered. “I don’t want - sympathy - ”

He lifted his head looking at her and shook his head, “no, Kathryn. I just want you, right now.” She stared at him, he leaned over her, brushing his mouth with hers. “Just you. I want you so bad it hurts - ” and she lifted her head kissing him passionately, he responded.

Kathryn slid her hands down to his bottoms and inside stroking him. He groaned into her mouth, opening it to his as their tongues meshed hungrily. She felt him pull her nightgown over her head and his body against hers. Their passion and hunger long delayed, and he was starving for her. He didn’t want to wait any longer.

Chakotay moved between her legs and reached up to her panties grabbing the material. He then yanked hard, ripping them from her body. She cried out in the shock, as he kissed her deeply again, plunging his tongue inside her mouth.

Kathryn couldn’t breathe as he kissed her with such hunger and need. She clung tightly to him, feeling him release himself against her. She knew there’d be pain, since she’d been with nobody else since their breakup. Far as she was concerned, she deserved it and he was still punishing her despite his words.

She cried out feeling his hand slide down to her womanhood feeling her. He plunged his fingers deeply inside her and she cried out again. Tears began to fall as he manipulated her and before she knew it, he had removed his hand and plunged his entire length into her. She screamed clinging to him, her body shuddered as he began to move hard against her.

Chakotay found her tight, tighter than he expected as he plunged into her. She clung tightly to him groaning as her body attempted to readjust to him again, since he wasn’t being gentle right now. He slid his hands down to her hips lifting them closer and moved harder.

Kathryn cried still as he pounded into her, this being as close to rape as she experienced, but laced with love. He still loved her, but was so hungry for her, it didn’t show at the moment.

He could feel her muscles clenching him and moved harder feeling his own release. He buried his face in her neck and hair and she began to cry out again. He groaned again and then felt his release, as he spilled deeply into her, her body trembled around his.

Kathryn closed her eyes as he gasped and let the tears still fall. He kissed her neck and shoulder and she then pushed him off her and pulled away from him, pulling the sheet around her burying her face in a pillow.

Chakotay groaned as she pulled away from him and he heard her still crying. It wasn’t ever supposed to be this way between them, but it just happened. He then lay on his back glancing at her body that was turned away from him wrapped in the sheet. “Kathryn - ” he said softly.

She shook her head, “don’t! Please - Chakotay. What just happened - there was no love there.” She also hurt from his deep thrusts and was beginning to ache from being tossed against the side of the boat.

“I’m sorry - ” he said. “I didn’t want it to be this way.” He sighed placing his hands over his face, “that camp - I was ready to die there.” Kathryn began to quiet as she listened. “I blamed you for what happened to me there. I was so angry at you. When that guard broke my leg - I thought I was finished.”

Kathryn wiped her face, she sighed, “I’m to blame too. If I left Starfleet - ”

“ - No,” he said, “no, Kathryn. It’s good that you didn’t. If you had been with me - ” he stopped, then said tightly. “I don’t want to think what they could have done to you, especially a celebrated Starfleet captain.”

Kathryn blinked as she wiped her face, his words sinking in. Slowly she turned to him and winced at the pain in her pelvic region. His face was illuminated in the shadows of the moonlight, since the storm was clearing. “When - I found out,” she said softly, “what happened to you, I was so scared.” She stopped in thought, then, “with all that we’d been through, I knew this had to be the worse for you.”

“Kathryn - ” he sighed.

She moved closer to him shaking her head, “don’t you see Chakotay? I would have traded places with you. If I could.”

Chakotay stared at her tear stained face in the moonlight, her words filling his heart with the sacrifice she was willing to make for him. He moved closer to her, “oh, Kathryn,” he said tenderly and saw some fresh tears slide down her face. Once close enough, he pulled her against him, “I wish I never left,” and she choked a sob, “I’m so sorry I hurt you, but I was so angry - ”

“ - I know,” she said tearfully. “Oh, I know - ”

He gazed down at her and noticed now she was wincing slightly while lying on her side. He gently stroked her tears away, “did I hurt you?”

She shrugged, “it’s okay - I deserved it - ”

“No,” he replied, sad she was hurt by him. “Kathryn, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.” Her tears still fell, he kissed her forehead tenderly and worked his way down to her mouth. Once there he gazed at her, “I love you, Kathryn. I promise to never hurt you again.”

“Chak-otay,” she whimpered, “oh god, I love you too.” And then he kissed her gently, and she responded wrapping her arms around him. She pulled him against her, now hungry herself for him. He lay against her, holding her to him and began to kiss her face working slowly down her body. She let the warmth travel through her and gasped when he pulled the sheet from her taking a risen bud gently into his mouth. She reached up running her hands through his hair. As he savored each, she shifted beneath him and he pulled the sheet completely away. Once free, she slid her legs around his hips, inviting him closer.

“My Kathryn,” he murmured lovingly and began to kiss lower. He could feel her body warming beneath his. Now he wanted to take his time with her, to show her how much he still loved and missed her.

As he traveled lower, he stroked her gently afire and he paid special attention to her lower abdomen. He could smell her arousal and knew she was ready, but he wanted to wait now. He then placed his mouth on her and she cried out softly, arching her back and gripping the sheets. He opened her gently, tasting her slowly as she moaned in the pleasure. Her body shuddered deeply and then he plunged his tongue inside and she cried out arching higher. He savored her taste, remembering it and loving it even more. When she came, it was a mix of pleasure and tears as she sobbed.

He then pulled away, laying against her and kissing her gently again, her taste intermingled between them as she responded, her tears still falling. As they kissed, he placed himself against her and once ready, joined them gently and slowly. She groaned gripping him tightly and he began to move slowly against her.

Kathryn clutched him, her body gripping him as he moved slowly and deeply into her. She lifted her hips to him as he continued to move against her. He then buried his face against her throat beginning to groan, forcing his release back.

“Faster,” she commanded him and he did. She groaned in response, as her muscles started to clench him more. She had missed him, the feel and the taste as she kissed his neck and shoulder, beginning to bite gently into it. She whimpered feeling her body shudder again, “more - harder!”

Chakotay heard her and took her hands in his, she gripped them tightly and he gazed down at her. “Look at me,” he told her and she opened her eyes. “Are you sure?” She nodded and he began to pound harder, she cried out and he began to groan. He could feel her muscles clenching him more and he moved harder, until he couldn’t take it anymore.

When she came, it was hard and she cried out arching her back clinging to him. His followed as he groaned, his own body shuddering as he spilled himself deeply into her.

She gasped as he did, his hips still moving slightly and she whispered, “I love you, Chakotay.”

He then raised his head with a gentle smile, “I love you, Kathryn,” and they embraced tightly. He raised his head again and she smiled softly up at him and he kissed her gently. She responded sweetly and he lay next to her, pulling her against him. Kathryn groaned softly and he gazed at her, “still hurting?”

She smirked at him rubbing her side, “not from you this time. But, from this damn boat. I’ll be lucky I’m not bruised all over by morning.”

Chakotay tenderly placed his hand at her waist and slid his hand down caressing. She shivered slightly and lifted her eyes at him through her lashes. “Do you have a dermal regenerator,” he asked, “just in case?”

She nodded, “everything, just in case. How’s your leg?”

“Better,” he replied. “An occasional twinge now and then, but I think that’ll be gone soon enough.”

Kathryn smiled and reached out cupping the side of his face, she was beginning to enjoy his beard, but wouldn’t tell him yet. “I guess that storm fixed everything,” she said softly. “Even Molly knew. She’s asleep finally.”

Chakotay smiled, “I guess she did,” and they stared at each other for a moment. He sighed, “I never thought I’d see you again, Kathryn. You - were so beautiful that day at Deep Space Nine. I thought I was dreaming.”

Kathryn shrugged, “you’d been sedated. But, what about now?” She shifted her legs slightly to relieve the ache building.

Chakotay noticed and he reached over sliding his hand beneath her hair and pulled her closer. “You are still just as beautiful,” he said lovingly and kissed her deeply. She responded wrapping her arms around him and pulled him down against her. He pressed his body against hers and started to slowly kiss her face, while letting his hands caress her gently. “Again?” he asked, with a soft smile as he looked at her.

She stared up at him and sighed, feeling his erection against her inner thigh. She groaned, “oh my, Chakotay, we have two years to make up for.”

He chuckled, “just two? Back then we were still working on the seven.”

Kathryn slid her hands down his back stroking gently and slid her legs around his hips, he positioned himself against her. “I think we’d better get started,” she said, her voice husky with the passion she was feeling. “We have a lot to make up for,” and gasped with pleasure and passion when he slid deeply into her. They kissed passionately again, making love once more before dawn.

When Kathryn woke the next morning, the sun was shining through the portholes. She glanced down to find Chakotay sound asleep on his stomach with his arms beneath the pillow under his head. She smiled softly remembering the night before and pushed her hair out of her face.

Just as she did, she winced as she felt an ache stretch from her thigh to her hip on her left side. She pulled away the sheet revealing a light to a dark purple bruise along her side. She sighed and touched it lightly and winced finding it alittle tender. Deciding to let Chakotay sleep, she opted for the dermal regenerator and a warm shower to wash the salt out of her hair and off her body.

She then looked around for her robe and found it on the floor at the end of the bed. She stood up slowly with a soft groan and reached down picking up her robe and pulled it on around her. As she did, she also spotted her torn panties and reached down picking them up. She then tossed them into the nearby recycler and left.

Molly greeted her a moment later just outside the bedroom, with the leash still attached to her. She smiled and knelt slowly down next to her, “thanks girl,” she said softly. “How’d you know it’s what we needed?” Molly wagged her tail and Kathryn laughed softly, “well, let me unhook this and you go keep Chakotay company, okay?” She barked in response and as soon as Kathryn had her free, she ran into the bedroom. Kathryn slowly rose and walked into the bathroom.

After using the dermal regenerator and a long hot soak in the shower, she pulled on her robe again, found Chakotay still asleep and got a cup of coffee. She checked to find the storm had moved south and no other’s nearby. Once satisfied, she took a blanket as well and headed out on the deck.

=/\=

Chakotay groaned softly opening his eyes and felt a wet tongue lick the tip of his nose. He then woke with a start staring at Molly instead of Kathryn. He sat up rubbing his face wondering where she was.

Deciding to go find her, he pulled the sheet off and stood up. He found his discarded pajama bottoms and stretched, then walked over picking them up. He pulled them on and walked out and to the bathroom. He saw Molly head outside to the deck and realized Kathryn was there.

Once inside, he stood before the mirror studying his face. The beard was his past with the camp and since last night, he’d finally buried it with his anger, now that he and Kathryn were together again.

He felt the beard and decided it was time to go. He then opened the shaving kit nearby and pulled out the razor.

=/\=

Kathryn sat on the deck enjoying the feel of the early morning sun on her face. She heard a noise and looked over to watch Chakotay come out on deck. She smiled and saw he had shaved off his beard, her heart skipped a beat as she saw how handsome he still was.

“Good morning,” she said as he stepped over to her and started to slowly sink down next to her. “Sleep well?”

He nodded, “oh yes,” and smiled looking at her, “you?”

“Never better,” she replied, smirking.

Chakotay laughed, “good,” and stared at her. “Good morning,” and kissed her gently. She responded sliding her arm around his waist and he kissed her face gently. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she said softly and gazed at him. She then reached up placing her hand against his soft, smooth skin. “I see you shaved. Why?”

He kissed her hand, “I figured you didn’t like it,” she smirked, “and, it was getting rid of the past.” She still stared at him, “you liked it?”

She tenderly stroked his face, “it made you look distinguished.”

He smirked, “are you saying it made me look older?” Kathryn laughed softly, he chuckled, “your teasing me again, aren’t you?”

“Of course,” she replied, still laughing.

“I guess you know what this means?” he asked her, she shook her head. “Come here,” and she gasped when he lifted her up and over his legs facing him. She straddled him understanding. He could feel her heat against his groin and was becoming as aroused as she. He reached up cupping her face in his hands, “you’re so beautiful and I love you so much.”

Kathryn smiled, she could feel how hard he was and pressed herself down against him. He moaned softly and she wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him deeply, he responded sliding his hands down to her hips. She then gazed at him, “I’m so happy,” she whispered.

“So am I,” he said tenderly. “For the first time since - ” he quieted when she put her finger to his mouth.

Kathryn shook her head, “no, we start fresh today,” she told him softly. “What happened back then is gone, everything. Agreed?”

Chakotay nodded, “agreed,” and kissed her tenderly. At that same time, he slid his hand beneath her and up between her legs to find her womanhood moist for him. He watched her face as she closed her eyes enjoying it and arched her back. He loved seeing her like this, “Kathryn,” he whispered, in their growing passion.

She moaned in response feeling his fingers probing her gently and cried out softly when he slid a finger gently inside her. She bit her lip through half-lidded eyes and lifted her head gazing steadily at him. “All the way,” she whispered.

“You sure?” he asked her, his voice deep.

“Who’s teasing who?” she asked and groaned feeling him remove his hand and release himself. She then raised herself as he placed himself against her and sank slowly down onto him with a groan. She tilted back her head and he placed a soft deep kiss on her throat as she began to move her hips against his. She groaned feeling her body tremble around him, “I can do this forever,” she sighed in the pleasure. “You feel so good, Chakotay.”

He smiled as she continued to move slowly, his release was building, but she held him off. “I’ve missed you,” he said softly, “so much, my love.”

Kathryn whimpered softly and embraced him tightly. He held her against him as she kissed his neck gently. “Chak-otay,” she moaned, “oh god - ” her body shuddered deeply again.

He stroked her hair and back gently as she moved her hips. He could feel her muscles starting to clench him more, and his own release was building. Suddenly he murmured in his own language to her, “my beautiful flower.”

Kathryn heard him and raised her head, she looked at him and he kissed her gently. She responded, their tongues meshing gently and then she looked at him, “I have - an idea,” she said.

He leaned over kissing her throat, “what’s that?”

Kathryn’s body shuddered again, she sighed, “let’s take the boat to Hawaii. We’ve got it for another month.”

Chakotay gripped her hips lifting her closer, she gasped as the pleasure rippled through her. “Sounds like a - ” and did it again to her, “perfect idea.”

“Then let’s do it,” she said and he held her rolling her beneath him. She slid her legs around his hips as he began to move faster. She cried out again, her body sliding slightly along the deck. Her body shuddered again, “harder!” And then he began to. She clung to him groaning and biting into his shoulder.

Chakotay groaned burying his face against her neck moving harder as her muscles clenched him more. They were so much closer and their moans grew louder until she cried out gripping him, her muscles clamping him so tightly he groaned as his body spilled into hers.

“Mmm . . . yes,” she sighed contentedly and kissed his face softly.

He chuckled and kissed her neck and throat gently and then looked at her stroking a lock of hair out of her eye. “Feel okay?”

“Oh yes,” she replied and shifted slightly feeling him still inside her. “Hawaii. We can make love in Maui -”

He kissed the tip of her nose, “wherever you want, my love.”

Kathryn reached up tracing his face gently, “and make me pregnant, Chakotay.”

He was shocked and stared at her, “‘pregnant’?” She nodded, “you sure? Why now?”

“I don’t want to lose you,” she replied. “I want a part of you forever.”

“What about marriage?”

She shrugged, “we can decide that later. I just want your baby.”

He was thrilled and then kissed her deeply, and looked at her again, “yes and I want you to as well.” She smiled and he pulled away from her and took her hand pulling her up. 

“Let’s go eat,” she laughed and they went into the cabin to make breakfast together.

Once breakfast was completed and cleaned up, both dressed and went out on deck to prepare the boat for the trip to Hawaii. Kathryn plotted the course and when ready, she pulled the anchor and as the boat caught the wind, Chakotay stood behind her as she held the wheel. He kissed her neck and held her waist gently.

It was a three-day sail to Maui, as both Kathryn and Chakotay took turns steering the boat. The weather was flawless and once they reached Maui’s blue pristine waters, they anchored there near a cove with an incredible view of a beach that had pure white sands and a lush, dark green forest.

The air was warmer and both changed into their swimsuits to take advantage of swimming in their own area. When they reached the small inner beach, they explored the small cove finding ancient Hawaiian writings and the rock walls covered with shiny flecks of mica.

Kathryn was amazed at the beauty before her and with Chakotay there, it was as romantic as she ever imagined. He kissed her tenderly and when they started to make love against the cool sand, Molly trotted up to them to nuzzle Chakotay’s face. Both laughed and got the idea to continue later and got up to play with her.

Their weeks in Hawaii passed quickly as they toured the islands together, spending their nights in passion and Kathryn’s hopes of becoming pregnant. Marriage wasn’t mentioned often, but it was on Chakotay’s mind. His injuries had almost completely healed and his nightmares of the camp had ended.

Both enjoyed the boat so much, Kathryn contacted the owner and offered to buy it. The owner was reluctant, but Kathryn easily persuaded him to Chakotay’s amusement as he listened nearby. Once the deal was done and she cut the transmission, he chuckled.

She turned to him confused, “what’s so funny?”

He stared at her, “nothing. I just realized how much I missed your negotiation tactics.” She smirked, “really. That’s one thing I’ve admired about you.”

She sighed, “well, it has been awhile,” and paused. She then gazed around her holding out her hands, “so, what do you think of our new boat?”

Chakotay stood up and smiled walking over to her, he put his hands on her waist and pulled her up against him. “I think we should really,” he said deeply, “commission her now.”

Kathryn slid her arms around his waist, “I don’t have any champagne.”

He grinned, “well, I think we can think of another way.” She stared up at him as he smiled and then she did as well.

“That sounds even better,” she said and he kissed her gently. She responded and he slid his hands down to her backside caressing her over her wrap and bathing suit. She groaned against his mouth as he pulled her hips up against his. A moment later, she pulled away taking his hand and led him to the bedroom.

=/\=

Hours later, they lay in each other’s arms as they spooned together. He kissed the back of her neck gently and she smiled softly, “I love you.”

Chakotay held her tighter, “I love you.”

She was quiet and then sighed, “I have a new name for our boat.”

“Already?” he asked, surprised.

Kathryn nodded and turned into his arms, she reached up touching his face gently. “I think Voyager II sounds nice,” she told him.

Chakotay stared at her, then smiled, “it’s perfect. I can be your first officer again.”

“Not just that,” she replied and smiled, “but on the high seas, they were always called first mates.”

He then kissed her throat, she tilted back her head, “that sounds even better. Voyager II it is,” as she pulled him against her.

“I guess Molly will be our crew?” she asked, feeling her body tingle with warmth.

He chuckled, “do you think B’Elanna will be jealous?”

Kathryn suddenly laughed and he did as well as they held each other tightly.

The next day, they had the boat renamed to “Voyager II” at a special dock located on one of the islands.

The day before they were to head back to the mainland, Kathryn stood in the shower after breakfast contemplating her future. Chakotay was cleaning up the dishes waiting for her so they could take one more walk on the island.

She was late. Her monthly was due two weeks before and there wasn’t anything yet. She wasn’t feeling any different and her appetite hadn’t changed. But, she stood in the shower feeling her abdomen for any changes.

There wasn’t anything different, but she had decided to take a leave of absence from Starfleet to see where her relationship with Chakotay went.

As she reasoned with herself, she had a desk job and it was hardly fulfilling. The only thing she had to captain was this boat and decided that she wanted to see different parts of their own world with him.

They had been through a lot in their seven years in the Delta Quadrant. And, Chakotay had been through his own turmoil as a Cardassian prisoner. She now wanted to spend time alone with him. She found waking up beside him was wonderful and they usually ended up making love most mornings.

She turned off the shower and then reached for her towel and dried herself off, then reached for her robe and pulled it on while stepping out of the shower. She wrapped it around herself and stood in front of the mirror gazing at herself.

Kathryn found she was glowing, as her face and eyes looked clear and as beautiful as she felt. She loved how she felt with him and was in love with him. In all her years of commanding Voyager, she realized she had never felt this way before.

Suddenly she heard a knock at the door and it peeked open slightly, “Kathryn? You okay?” Chakotay asked, curious.

She looked over at him and nodded, “I’m fine. Why?”

He studied her, “you’ve been in here almost an hour and its not a bath,” she smiled. Chakotay then smirked, “you look beautiful, in case your wondering.”

She felt herself blush slightly, “Chakotay - ”

He chuckled, “Kathryn, your blushing,” and she glanced away. He stepped inside pulling her up against him. He wrapped his arms around her staring at their reflections, “and, you’re very beautiful.”

She leaned her head back against his chest with a sigh, “and, I think I’m pregnant.”

Chakotay blinked at her response, he turned her to him, “what did you say?”

She smiled softly up at him, “I’m late - ” and he embraced her happily. She slid her arms around him resting her head against his shoulder. “Happy?”

Chakotay held her tighter, yet gently and he kissed her head, “oh yes, my love.” Then he looked at her, “how far along? This didn’t happen that first time, did it?” He was still angry at himself over their first time that night of the storm when he practically raped her.

Kathryn reached up gently stroking his face, “I don’t know yet. This is just a guess,” she paused, “and, I doubt it happened during that time.”

“I-I’m still not happy,” he said, “for what I did - ”

“Chakotay,” she said gently, “that night happened for a reason. It’s okay - ”

He kissed her hand tenderly while closing his eyes, “I just hate the thought of hurting you Kathryn -”

“ - Ssh,” she said, taking his face in her hands. “Don’t even think about it anymore. What matters is, we love each other and we’re together again.”

He stared at her, still fresh from her shower with no make up on. Then he nodded, “your right and now with a baby on the way -”

She nodded with a sigh, “yes, that’s what we have to be happy over.”

He kissed her deeply and gently, then gazed at her, “marry me, Kathryn.” She stared up at him, “marry me and make me even happier than I am now.”

“Oh, Chakotay - ” she said, her voice became choked. Tears formed in her eyes, “are you sure? How do you know - ?”

“ - Because, I love you,” he said, “and I know we’ll be very happy.” He touched his forehead to hers whispering, “please, marry me Kathryn. I’ll make you happy.”

Tears spilled down her face, “I love you so much, Chakotay. Are you sure we won’t be making a mistake?”

“We’re meant to be together,” he said gently. “Ever since that day we first laid eyes on each other. It’s taken nine years for us to get here. Marry me.”

She was crying and she couldn’t stop, she was so happy, but just wanted to be sure it was the right thing to do. She loved him, more than she could possibly say or do. And, there was a chance she was pregnant. She wanted the child to know and love its father like she did.

“Yes,” she replied tearfully, “yes, Chakotay,” and he held her gently as she cried happily. “I love you, so much.” She lifted her head as he stroked her tears away and he kissed her gently. She responded, holding him tightly.

A moment later, he looked at her, “I think we should buy some rings before we head home tomorrow.” She nodded, “we need to have witnesses, perhaps Tom and B’Elanna?”

“Yes,” she replied, “I think they’re perfect.” He then took her hand pulling her out of the bathroom leading her to the bedroom. She smiled softly at his suggestion and her body grew warm with wanting. They entered the bedroom and he stood before their bed with him untying her robe and she began to pull his shirt out of his trousers.

They shed their clothing slowly, lingering over their exposed flesh with soft, warm kisses and touches. Kathryn’s senses were on overload as he explored her slowly and gently. Just as she was about to sink to the floor, he cradled her in his arms and lowered her to the bed kissing her again deeply.

He explored her with tender strokes and feather soft kisses, his breath was warm as he blew gently against her nipples causing them to peak. She groaned when he cupped her breasts, taking each in his mouth savoring them to such an extreme she felt her body shudder deeply.

Kathryn almost burst into tears again when he began to stroke and caress her abdomen tenderly. She arched her back and hips to him as she held his head gently. Once he reached the apex of her womanhood, she let her legs open to him granting him access. He placed his mouth on her gently and she cried out softly as her body trembled again.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, as he explored her. Her cries were urging him on as he could tell she was becoming more aroused. When she came, she cried out with a wail as she arched her back to him. He then pulled away from her, lying against her kissing her deeply again. She responded as their tongues meshed and wrapped her legs around his waist urging against his hardness that she could feel against her inner thigh.

“Please,” she whimpered, between kisses as he kissed her face and throat. She was aching for him, “please, Chakotay - don’t make me wait -” and he kissed her again. She felt him adjust himself against her and she slid her hands down to his backside to guide him. When he finally joined them, she groaned in the pleasure against his mouth as he slid deeply into her.

Chakotay groaned feeling her warmth surround him again. He felt such peace when joined with her, both physically and emotionally. They were matched in every way, from breath to thought. He’d never fit with a woman so well, as he began to move slowly and gently against her. She clung to him, kissing his shoulder and neck with gasps of pleasure.

He gazed at her and she stared up at him under hooded eyes as he continued to move against her. Her mouth was half open in the passion she was feeling. He then kissed her deeply, she responded with a soft moan. Their tongues meshed lovingly and gently for several moments.

Kathryn lifted her hips to get him deeper and closer. He held her gently and rolled with her above him. She started to kiss his face and caress his shoulders and chest as she sat up.

He took her hands as she moved her hips down against his slowly and arched her back. She groaned feeling her body shudder again and he slid a hand up to cup a breast to keep her bud peaked.

“I love you,” she whispered and he sat up kissing her deeply again. She responded wrapping her arms around him as she continued to move slowly against him. Her release was building and she kissed him harder starting to move faster.

“My Kathryn,” he groaned, feeling her muscles starting to grip him. She whimpered in response and held him tightly kissing his shoulder as he ran his hand up into her hair gripping it gently.

Her body shuddered again deeply and she groaned moving harder. He groaned as well feeling her muscles clenching him more. Their moans and gasps grew louder with each move she made.

“Chak - ” she breathed, her body shuddered again. They kissed deeply again as their release grew closer, she gripped his back, digging her nails in. Suddenly she felt her release burst and she cried out against his mouth gasping as her body quaked with the aftershocks.

Chakotay came just as she did and he held her tighter burying his face in her neck and hair gasping. She moaned kissing his neck as they sat holding each other gently.

As their senses returned, she smiled softly and lifted her head gazing at him, “how wonderful,” she said.

Chakotay grinned and reached up brushing her hair out of her face. “Yes, it was,” he replied, “and I love you.” She kissed him gently, he responded and then sighed, “we should dress and go ashore to get the rings.”

She nodded, “yes and a nice dinner.”

He stroked her back gently, “let’s go, then,” and she pulled away from him sitting on the bed. He stood up and picked up his boxers, he looked at her, “Kathryn -”

She gazed over at him, realizing she was still not moving. She smiled softly watching his eyes admire her naked form, “like what you see?” she asked and he smirked at her, she laughed, “okay, I’m moving.” And then knelt on the bed, he stepped over to her as they held each other gently. “I’m so happy, Chakotay.”

“So am I, my love,” he replied gently. She kissed his chest once more and then pulled away to get dressed.

Once both were dressed, Kathryn pulled part of her hair back into a barrette on the top of her head, letting the rest fall against her neck. Chakotay thought she looked sweet and sexy like this, especially with the simple black wrap dress she wore.

They took the small dingy attached to the boat and headed to shore to shop and eat.

=/\=

Their last few hours on the island, they purchased two simple gold wedding bands with diamonds encircling them. Once they were sized, they had them packaged and put in a special bag. After, they went to a restaurant for a romantic, candlelight dinner over champagne to celebrate their engagement.

Once dinner was through, they headed back hand-in-hand to the dingy and returned to the boat where Molly awaited for them. Both scratched her behind her ears and went inside where Chakotay turned on some music to dance with Kathryn.

Kathryn held him as they stared at each other in the dim light, feeling so much love for him at that moment than she ever had before.

As they danced, she sighed, “I’ve made a decision -”

He smiled at her, “what kind of decision?”

“I’ve decided to take,” she replied softly, “a leave of absence from Starfleet.” He stared at her, “I’ve got nothing but a desk job now, so in the long run, it wouldn’t matter.”

Chakotay leaned down kissing her ever so softly, she responded and he looked at her, “no chance of commanding again?”

She shrugged, “no mention of it from the higher ups -”

“ - Is this what you want?” 

Kathryn reached up placing her hand against his face, “I want to be with you, Chakotay.” He kissed her hand, “nobody will miss me at headquarters and I haven’t been promoted. I think we should take our boat around the world.” She smiled, “and do our own exploring.”

Chakotay kissed her deeply and gently, she responded holding him tightly. He began to kiss her face and neck gently as she clung to him. “I think,” he murmured against her throat, “it’s a great idea.” She laughed softly, “and I love you, Kathryn.”

“I love you, too,” she said and they looked at each other. “I think it’d be wonderful to have a baby in Italy. Don’t you?”

He grinned with a nod, “oh yes, my love,” and kissed her again, drawing her hips against his to feel how much he wanted her. He slid a hand down to her backside caressing softly and felt her tremble against him. “Time for bed?” he asked softly.

Kathryn was feeling very aroused and that was the only thing she could think about. She nodded, “yes, I think so,” and kissed him again, drawing him with her as they moved toward’s the bedroom. She heard Molly whine softly, “go to sleep, Molly,” and Chakotay chuckled softly as she closed the door after them.

Molly stood before the closed door after her mistress staring for a moment. Her sensitive hearing picking up faint sounds of rustling and the creaking of the bed. She lifted her paw scratching lightly against the door. After several moments, when she realized they wouldn’t open the door for her, she lay down against it placing her face in her paws to wait for them to finish.

A few hours later, Kathryn opened the door with her robe around her and let Molly in to sleep on the floor beside the bed.

Early the next morning after breakfast, they readied the boat for the four-day sail back to the marina in San Francisco. Kathryn called a justice of the peace to be at the pier when they docked.

By noon, they pulled the anchor and headed for home.

That last afternoon was warm and windy off the bay as Tom and B’Elanna stood near the pier that held the dock for “Laura’s Wake.” B’Elanna held Miral’s hand as Tom stood with a pair of high-powered binoculars looking for the large schooner that Kathryn and Chakotay were on.

B’Elanna rubbed her swollen belly gently to calm their new addition, who was due in a couple of months. Her feet hurt and ankles were swollen, she wanted to sit down and was starting to get impatient.

“Tom - find me a chair,” she grumbled, “or we’re leaving -”

He glanced at her seeing her discomfort, he sighed and found an abandoned deck chair folded up nearby. He walked over grabbing it and opened it for her. She sank down with a sigh of relief into it and Miral climbed onto her lap. “Better?” he asked, she nodded with a soft smile. “Now, why are you so interested in being here when they get back?”

“I want to see if they haven’t,” she replied, “torn each other apart. It was a risk I took when I told Kathryn to go.”

Tom smirked at her, “come on, B’El. She loves the guy. Of course she was going.”

“I know that,” she replied, “but, I’m not sure about Chakotay.”

“He loves her too,” he said. “And, I’m willing to bet when they saw each other, they cried.”

“Such a romantic,” she muttered and he chuckled. He raised the binoculars back up to gaze out at the bay for the schooner.

=/\=

Kathryn turned the wheel of the boat angling it toward’s the bay. She could see the San Francisco Bridge in the distance. They were almost home now. When they returned, a justice of the peace would be waiting to marry her and Chakotay, who was currently undergoing a vision quest. She left him alone to do so and he told her he’d be out when done.

Since heading home, she was now happier than she’d ever been. Her skin had darkened to a bronzed cinnamon tone and her hair was lighter. She wore a sunhat on her head still, also a pair of shorts and a top.

To determine if she were really pregnant, since her monthly still hadn’t come, while Chakotay slept a couple of nights before, she got up and went into the bathroom to check with a tricorder. As she sat on the commode and the results came through, she felt a burst of happiness that she was. And, by those results, it hadn’t happened the night of the storm, but the next day when they made love on the deck.

...She returned to bed to snuggle into his arms and started to fall back to sleep with a smile on her face.

He moaned softly feeling her against him again, “everything okay?” he murmured.

“Yes,” she replied, with a soft sigh and couldn’t help the smile in her voice.

Chakotay blinked, still groggy from sleep and lifted his head, “okay . . . what?”

She laughed softly, “I’ll tell you later - ”

“Kathryn - ” he said, confused at why she was so happy. “Talk to me.”

She then turned into his arms smiling and reached up stroking his face as he stared down at her in the moonlight. “Oh, Chakotay,” she said softly, “I love you, so much -”

“- Kathryn!” he said frustrated, she laughed again. “Just tell me, please.”

She kissed him gently and then smiled, “we’re positive.”

It took a moment for him to realize what she said. As it dawned on him, he grinned, “we are?” She nodded and he chuckled embracing her gently as she held him. “That’s worth being woken up for, Kathryn. I love you, so much.”

“I love you,” she said and he kissed her gently. She responded and they held each other tightly . . . 

“You’re doing it again.”

Kathryn glanced over at Chakotay as he stood on the deck studying her with a smirk. “What?” she asked curiously.

“Smiling like that,” he replied and she smiled even more glancing away. He chuckled, walking over to her. “Your glowing and I love seeing you look this happy.”

“Well,” she said simply, “I have a lot to be happy over,” he nodded and kissed her. She responded and he stood next to her as they watched the bridge get even closer. “Molly!” They heard a bark as she bounded out of the cabin and onto the deck. “We’re almost home, girl.” She barked again and they laughed. “I really wish I had her while in the Delta Quadrant. She would have made life easier.”

“Oh, I didn’t help you in that regards?” he asked.

She glanced at him, “you know what I mean,” he grinned. “So, stop teasing me.” He slid his arm around her waist pulling her closer and placed a gentle kiss on the side of her head. “Are you ready for this?”

“Yes,” he replied. “Are you?”

She shrugged, “I suppose, considering my wedding clothes is what I’m wearing.”

“I think you look beautiful,” he said.

Kathryn looked at him, “thanks,” and he kissed her forehead gently.

=/\=

B’Elanna glanced around with a sigh and saw an older man walk down the pier near them. She watched him for a moment as he got closer and saw him carrying a small book as well.

“Tom, who’s that?”

He glanced over and shrugged, “I don’t know,” and looked through the binoculars out by the bridge again. After several minutes, he smiled when he saw the sail, “I see them. They just passed beneath the bridge.” He then zoomed in more to view the deck and saw both on board. He chuckled watching Chakotay and Kathryn kiss deeply for a moment with a dog at their feet. “Looks like they made up.” He whistled lowly, “I could probably write a holo-novel on their adventure.”

“Tom!” B’Elanna snapped. “Don’t be such a prude.” He chuckled, “I swear if you suggest it to them - ”

“I won’t say anything,” he said. “Do you think I’d like to feel Chakotay’s fist in my face?” They were closer now, beginning to head for the marina. “Although, I’ll suggest a hotel for tonight -” and promptly received a light kick from B’Elanna in his leg.

=/\=

When the boat entered the outermarkers of the marina, Kathryn lowered the sail, cutting down their speed. Chakotay began preparing the ropes to tie the boat along the dock. Molly ran up and over to the bow wagging her tail in anticipation of being on land again.

“Molly, be careful!” Chakotay warned and she barked. “Kathryn -”

“ - I see her,” she claimed, carefully watching her dutiful dog who stood at the bow. They were now crossing down the main alley along the docked boats. She peered ahead at the dock seeing three or four figures on the pier. “Chakotay, take the binoculars to see who else is waiting for us.”

He reached over to her supply bag and pulled out the binoculars and stood up looking through adjusting them. Once focused, he chuckled finding Tom looking back at them. “Looks like the Paris’ and our justice of the peace.”

“Both of them?” she asked shocked, he turned nodding. She smirked, “I swear Chakotay, marriage hasn’t changed Tom in the least.” She held out her hand for the binoculars, and he handed them to her. She took them looking through and shook her head, “I wish I could reprimand him now.”

“That’s why he’s doing it,” Chakotay claimed. “So he can get away with it.” She nodded, “want to give him an eyeful?”

She looked at him, “what do you mean?” He grinned and she blushed, “Chakotay!” And then grinned, “come here,” and he stepped up by her. She pulled him up to her and kissed him passionately, he responded with as much adore as she wrapped her arms around him. Their tongues meshed gently and lovingly for several moments’ until she pulled away somewhat breathless. “Now that should have worked,” and he grinned lovingly at her tenderly stroking the side of her face. She looked ahead, “okay, get ready,” and he turned away heading toward’s the bow. Once there, he helped guide her toward’s the slip.

He watched Tom, B’Elanna - a very pregnant B’Elanna - Miral and their justice of the peace head down the pier to the dock. He couldn’t help the grin he had when seeing his old friends after two years.

“B’El!” he said, grinning happily. “Look at you!”

She caressed her belly gently, “yeah, blame Tom for that.”

Chakotay chuckled as he tied the boat to the kleets on the dock and Kathryn smiled happily for the couple as well. He turned taking her hand helping her down and walked over to the side where a set of steps stood.

“You look wonderful,” he told B’Elanna, he stepped down and they embraced warmly and he shook Tom’s hand. “And, congratulations, again.”

“Thanks,” Tom said with a sigh. He glanced over at Kathryn and embraced her gently, “welcome home, captain. Chakotay looks great.”

She returned the embrace and pulled away, “well, two months ago he looked pretty beat up. The sun and water has done wonders on him.”

“No kidding,” B’Elanna said, with a smirk. “Any bad weather?”

Kathryn and Chakotay glanced at each other, “well,” she replied, with a sigh, “we ran into some rough water about a month ago, but it was better by morning.”

“Where’d you go?” Tom asked.

“We sailed out and anchored,” Chakotay replied, “for several weeks and then went to Hawaii.”

“Now, that’s romantic,” Tom commented.

“Yes, it was,” Kathryn replied and saw the other man nearby. She said, “Mr. Covington?”

The older man stepped over to them, “yes, Captain Janeway?”

“Give us a few minutes to prepare,” she told him.

“Take all the time you need,” he said, with a nod.

B’Elanna was confused, “get ready for what?”

Chakotay then smiled and slid his arm around Kathryn’s waist, “both of you have arrived just in time to witness our wedding ceremony.” Kathryn smiled wrapping her own around him and gently placed her hand on his chest.

“Wow!” Tom said, shocked. “We didn’t expect this -”

“Come now, Mr. Paris,” Kathryn said, “you saw us on the deck. What else did you think?”

“Well, I -” he said, at a loss of words.

“She’s always been a step ahead,” B’Elanna commented and studied her for a moment noticing the glow. “Any other news?”

Chakotay chuckled, “when we’re ready, okay?” He then sighed, “well, let’s get ready,” he wanted to change quickly. He then pulled away from Kathryn and started back up onto the boat.

“Hey, Chakotay?” Tom asked.

“What?” he asked, as he helped Kathryn back on board.

“Mind if we borrow the boat?” he asked, noticing the new name of the schooner. “Just for a couple of days?”

Kathryn smirked, glancing at Chakotay as they remembered Tom’s love of the sea as well. She sighed, “we haven’t even started packing -”

“ - We’ll help,” he offered, “and you both can spend your wedding night at a nearby hotel, on us.”

“I’ll think about it,” Kathryn said.

“Awe, Captain - ” Tom groaned, “come on!”

She stood staring at them folding her arms across her chest, then sighed, “all right, but only for three days.” Tom smiled, she looked at Chakotay, “come on, let’s get ready,” and they went inside the cabin.

=/\=

Kathryn changed into a simple, but pretty white eyelet dress she’d bought in Hawaii and Chakotay into a clean, crisp white button down shirt with beige trousers. He produced the rings and had Tom, B’Elanna, Miral and Covington board.

As the sun set slowly over the bay, Kathryn and Chakotay stood on the deck of the Voyager II exchanging their wedding vows with B’Elanna and Tom witnessing. Kathryn’s tears were of joy as Chakotay slipped the ring on her finger.

When pronounced man and wife, they kissed deeply and happily with Miral applauding happily for them. Kathryn laughed at the child’s happiness embracing Chakotay, then they each turned kissing Miral gently and embraced Tom and B’Elanna.

“Just three days,” Kathryn reminded them. “We plan to sail around the world for a few months.”

“You’re leaving Starfleet?” Tom asked.

“Just a leave of absence,” Chakotay replied.

Tom nodded, “okay, let’s get you packed,” he clapped his hands, unable to contain his excitement.

“Easy -” Chakotay said.

“Are you kidding?” Tom said. “Now, get off! It’s our turn and we’ll see you in three days.”

Kathryn glanced at him and then took Chakotay’s hand as they went inside to pack. 

After packing for few days, they had made arrangements at a large hotel near the bay and called for a car to pick them up. B’Elanna had Miral down for a nap and they stood on the pier as Kathryn and Chakotay prepared to board the car. Molly was already inside waiting for them.

“Congratulations,” B’Elanna told them. “Again.”

“Thanks,” Chakotay said, as they embraced gently. Kathryn was ready to go, “see you in three days.”

“Go!” Tom said, they needed to get back to Miral before she woke up.

Chakotay slid into the backseat next to Kathryn with a wave and closed the door.

As the car pulled away slowly from the pier, he sighed, “I thought they’d never leave!” And turned B’Elanna around heading back to the boat.

End

(Or is it? You decide)

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